The Story (Story III)
by AddisonSp
Summary: Rick and Kate are married and expecting their first child. Did they wait long enough following her treatment, or will be baby be in danger? Anxieties surface as they are hit with yet another bombshell. Part 3 in Series. Now Complete.
1. Chapter 1

"**I have loved the stars to fondly to be fearful of the night"-****Galileo Galilei**

_**Hello all. I've been diligently working on the third story in this series, following Beckett's journey through Cancer diagnosis, treatment and now into remission. Your feedback has been so overwhelmingly affirming for me. As I've written these stories I've poured so much of my own experience as a survivor into the characters, and to know that others have felt a connection, and hope…It's beyond what I could have hoped for. So, thank you for reading these stories. –Addison **_

**Note: This story is the third in a series 1.) Walk Me Through This One and 2.) I Wll Try to Fix You. I highly recommend reading those first, or you may be lost. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never have, never will. All episodes that have aired are free game for me. No spoilers though.**

* * *

"All_ of these lines across my face. Tell you the story of who I am._

_So many stories of where I've been, and how I got to where I am. _

_But these stories don't mean anything, when you've got no one to tell them to._

_It's true. I was made for you._

_I climbed across the mountain top, swam all across the ocean blue. _

_I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules, and baby I broke them all for you._

_Oh, because even when I was flat broke, you make me feel like a million bucks._

_You do. I was made for you. _

_You see the smile that's on my mouth. It's hiding the words that don't come out. _

_All of our friends who think that I'm blessed, they don't know my head is a mess. _

_No they don't know who I really am, and they don't know what I've been through like you do. _

_And I was made for you." –The Story, Brandi Carlile_

* * *

The blond woman made her way quietly throughout the cabin, in attempt to make it back to her seat. The captain had turned on the fasten seatbelt signs and they were advised to get the passengers situated and strap themselves in as well. She still found it somewhat ironic that this was her job, afterall she never liked flying.

Things had just gotten worse after her husband left her, and there was nobody to take Christopher while she was away. She was fortunate to find a live-in nanny when she did, as her income was now all that was supporting them.

As the turbulence worsened she became frightened. She squeezed her eyes shut as oxygen masks dropped from the top of the consoles and all the passengers scrambled for the air. Her breath was erratic and she couldn't control the rapid beating of her heart as the plane seemed to take a nose dive.

The woman prayed in that moment. She asked for forgiveness for what she had done. She asked that Christopher be taken care of; afterall, her mistakes were not his fault. She'd wished that she'd done things differently, been honest from the beginning. Now it was too late.

The final thought to cross Jacinda Collins' mind was a silent hope that Richard Castle would somehow forgive her, and that he wouldn't turn out the child that he didn't even know existed. Seconds later there was a loud bang, an incredible impact and then she was gone.

* * *

Kate Beckett woke early that morning, raising from their bed to stretch her arms, turning to the sleeping man beside her. She smiled softly at him, running her fingers across his jaw and through his hair. Never in her life had Kate recalled being this happy. The past year had brought so much heartache, so much pain and so many unknowns. Yet there he was, beside her as he promised he always would be. _My husband_, she thought warmly to herself, _Richard Castle-my husband._

They'd been married nearly a month and she still wasn't used to saying it. It still felt foreign and exciting on her tongue. She'd gathered that he felt the same way, as when they'd call eachother by their marital titles they would both break out into goofy grins. They were so in love it was sickening, but nobody could begrudge them their honeymoon phase. Afterall, they had been denied the normal beginnings of a relationship considering that she'd been fighting cancer a great deal of their first year together.

Now she was in remission, the doctors continued to watch her, doing their best to keep their eyes on her progress considering the circumstances. _Ah yes_, Beckett smiled to herself and caressed her slightly swollen abdomen, _the circumstances_. She was quite sure that she wouldn't have noticed the bump if she wasn't looking for it. Afterall, she was only about 10 weeks pregnant.

Still, she was blissfully happy, looking from her husband who was fast asleep to her abdomen, which was home to the life they'd created together. "And how is my little circumstance doing this morning?" She spoke softly to her stomach.

There were few times in Kate Beckett-Castle's life where she felt that all was right with the world, but this was one of those times. She had beaten the odds, survived cancer and had managed to get pregnant. Oh, and the love of her life was finally sleeping next to her, wearing a ring on his finger that matched her own. _A matching set-just like us_, she smiled at the thought.

She rolled her eyes a little bit at herself, at the ridiculous un-Beckett type thoughts running through her head. She'd heard of chemo brain, and had experienced it during the months of her treatment. She'd felt the full effect of toxic chemicals on her memory and cognition, on her ability to find and retrieve words. She'd been so frustrated by it that it had driven her from the precinct.

However, now she was back at work and she was in the swing of things, feeling happy and healthy, and life was good. She shook her head once again at her thoughts, _chemo-brain was bad, but baby-brain is so much worse. I've gone from confused toxic mess to mushy hormonal mess._ Truth be told, she was too happy to care.

A moan beside her drew her attention from her musings and to her waking husband. She turned to find him already awake, watching her silently. Some things never changed and Rick Castle's need to stare at Kate Beckett was one of those constants.

"Good morning you" She spoke as she leaned down to kiss him.

"Mmmmm." He moaned appreciatively into her lips, "it _is_ a good morning."

He propped himself up on his elbow and pulled her closer for another kiss, threading his fingers through her hair. She'd recently gotten highlights and with the alterations she looked almost just as she did before she lost her hair, only it was still substantially shorter. Only they knew the differences, which could be felt rather than seen, as her hair had grown back with a slightly thicker texture.

With her health fully restored, her complexion with warm color and soft curves on her body, she felt much like she did before the cancer too. Only now he got to enjoy the added benefit of the glow she possessed, of the extra curves on her stunning body, and the insatiable appetite for him complements of her hormones. Granted there were mood swings, there were bad days and there was uncertainty, but there was love and excitement too. There was a baby, their baby, and he couldn't wait to meet the little one.

For Kate Beckett life seemed perfect. Little did she know that her happy little family was about to receive another major bombshell.

* * *

**Yep. Another baby fic, but you guys knew that …So after just finishing a baby fic. in "Partners With Benefits", I can't believe I'm jumping into another, but this story will be very different. I purposely did not focus on her progression through the pregnancy in my last story because it would be so heavily featured in this one. Hopefully it's not overkill. Still, following the other stories, of course it was going to be a baby fic…**

**For those of you who read the first part and said WTF? I already know the ending of this story, hang with me…its all kinds of fluffy…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello all. Here is chapter 2 and I hope you enjoy it. Happy Tuesday and please review. **

* * *

The case worker entered the conference room and proceeded to pour herself a cup of coffee. It had been a long week and the twist at the end of her most recent case had been completely unexpected.

Hence they were working on a Saturday. She hated working the weekends. Her supervisor walked in shortly after she did and sat down. Pulling out her note pad and placing her glasses on, she spoke.

"Hi Kelly, how has your week been?" Kelly responded, stirring cream into her coffee and then sitting across from her boss, her files already spread out on the table.

"It was long and tracking down my newest little boy's next of kin proved to be more difficult than I'd thought." Her supervisor looked up to her, waiting for her to elaborate. Kelly took her cue and proceeded to tell her about the infant who had been placed in her case load.

"The boy Christopher Collins, was born January 22nd, 2013. He is just over 6 months old. His mother, Jacinda Collins was one of the passengers killed in the crash of Oceanic flight 815." Her boss nodded,

"Does he have next of kin?" she asked her subordinate.

"Well. Ms. Collins was in the process of getting a divorce from her husband of 5 years. According to him, she'd cheated and told him that the baby was his. He didn't go into detail concerning how the truth came out, but when he learned that the boy was not his son he left them both. He wants no involvement with the boy. Before he served her with divorce papers he had a paternity test done and court order to remove his name from the birth certificate."

"Ms. Collins had no next of Kin. She was a foster child herself and had no strong ties in her adult life outside of her husband." Kelly's supervisor then asked,

"and do we have any information on the biological father?"

"Well," she answered, "shortly after the divorce proceedings began she worked with her lawyer to draw up a living will, providing the identity of the boy's biological father in the event of a situation such as this."

"Great," the supervisor spoke, "then what's the problem?"

"Well , the father is Rick Castle."

"The author?" The older woman clarified.

"Yes, the author. Assuming that the woman was truthful, that is." Kelly responded.

"So, have you contacted him yet?"

"No I haven't. I wanted to update you of the situation in case the media got their hands on it. I can't imagine that things are going to go well. I'm not sure the man even knows he has a son, considering she had everyone convinced that the child was her husband's until very recently."

"Well, let's talk to him. See how he responds and explore our options." With that the supervisor stood.

"Keep me informed on this one Kelly."

"Yes Ma'am." The young woman responded.

* * *

Saturday mornings were Rick Castle's favorite day of the week by far. That was especially true when his wife was not on call. They both sat by the window, ready to sip coffee and watch New York City bustle below them. Soon after she'd moved in Rick had done a bit of redecorating.

He'd noticed that she often liked to stand by the window and just watch the world go by. She would often come here first after returning from a treatment during the previous summer, or after a scan. Something about his view of the city calmed her.

So, during one of her last stays in the hospital he'd taken the time to have professionals come (with a great amount of help and direction from both Martha and Alexis), and set up what he called "Kate's contemplative corner." He had a comfortable love seat placed, along with side tables for coffee, several plants, and even a small rock fountain. He'd had the area somewhat blocked off from the rest of the room to provide her with quiet and privacy.

She simply loved it, taking to it often to sip her coffee or tea, depending on her stomach, and read her books. Sometimes when she was particularly tired after a treatment, or on a bad day, she would sprawl out on the love seat and fall asleep. On several occasions Rick would find her there and carry her to their bed.

After she was well again they took to spending time there together, their special little area of the apartment where they could simply go to relax and just _be_ together. That is where they were on Saturday morning, the next two days belonging to them, regardless of who may or may not be murdered. _God I love it when she's not on call_, he thought happily to himself once more.

Upon hearing his contented sigh Kate smiled, moving to one side of him to place the steaming mug she'd prepared on the table and then returning to her side of the loveseat and doing the same with her mug. Coffee was always something special between the two of them, it was always a non-verbal way of saying, "Hello. Good Morning. I'm happy to see you, love of my life." Coffee spoke volumes for them, even before they could say the words themselves.

Early on in their relationship coffee turned into somewhat of a game between them. It was a contest; who ever made and presented the coffee first loved their partner the most. They took much joy in waking up earlier, sneaking out to the kitchen and being the first to prepare the coffee. When she was too sick to stomach it, it switched to tea. It was a different liquid, but the message remained the same, "Good morning. You are my heart."

After she'd learned she was pregnant their morning drink was switched to decaf, but the game was very much still on. On one occasion Beckett got up extra early, tip toed from their bedroom and made her way to the kitchen. She'd even got Alexis in on it, having her sneak into their room to silently shake her awake so he wouldn't be alerted by her alarm. When she reached the kitchen she found that the night before he'd auto-set the coffee maker to brew at 5am.

She stalked back to the bedroom and woke him up by hitting him with her pillow. As he shook the grogginess she simply yelled, "That's cheating!" He laughed hysterically at her and wrestled her back into bed. By the time they actually made it to the kitchen, the coffee was cold.

* * *

To say that they were blissfully happy was an understatement. Still, nobody could deny that the couple deserved every moment of joy between them. That morning she rested her head against his chest, his arm around her, and snuggled up under a blanket that he'd thrown over both of them. Both sipped their coffee as they dreamed about the child that would be born to them in March, God willing.

"What about Thomas?" Rick asked her.

"mmmm…not sure. How about Andrew?" She countered.

"I like Andrew," he answered.

"We could call him Andrew James, the James after my father." Beckett sighed at the thought.

"And if it's a girl?" Castle asked.

"Well, I like Johanna, but maybe as a middle name?" She knew that her mother's name would be the obvious choice, but she wasn't crazy about having it as the child's first name.

"Hmmm." Castle simply nodded, "Ok."

"What first name goes with Johanna as a middle name?" He asked her.

"I'm not sure, but we could always use Johanne as well. The meaning wouldn't be lost." She added.

"Emily?" Castle asked.

"Maybe. How about Grace?" They both thought for a moment and then simultaneously said, "nah…"

"It doesn't really go with Johanna or Johanne as a middle name at all." Castle clarified.

Beckett nodded in agreement.

"Well," she spoke, "we've got time. I'm not even in my second trimester yet." He placed his coffee back on the end table and turned into her, sliding his hand along her abdomen. He kissed her softly and smiled at her.

"What?" she asked him, taking note of the dreamy expression on his face as he stared.

"I'm just having one of those 'I can't believe this is my life' moments." He spoke.

"I would have thought you'd be used to everything by now, best selling celebrity author millionaire that you are." She spoke to him teasingly.

"Yeah, that I'm used to, but seriously," he shifted away and then turned to her, placing one hand on her cheek and leaving the other to rub the small bump on her belly. "Kate, you're here. You're my wife, I get to keep you!" She laughed at his words, completely touched by them.

"I get to keep you here with me, as my wife, and we're having a baby and you're healthy again and you're glowing Kate." She grinned widely at him, understanding the meaningfulness of his words.

"Just a few months ago things seemed so…so hopeless; so endless." He spoke, moving to snake his fingers into her hair. He looked at her dark locks, which fell across his fingers.

"I was so scared Kate. I felt so weak for not being able to carry you through it all." Her eyes shot to his suddenly.

"What?" She spoke. "You think you didn't carry me through? Rick, you are the reason I was able to make it through." She shook her head at him, taking both of his hands in her own and commanding his complete attention before she spoke.

"Rick, you were the constant in my life. I lost complete control. I had no say in what was happening inside of my own body. I was betrayed by my own body Rick. Do you understand that?" She continued to speak.

"I spent month after month in sickness, feeling feeble and completely out of control. Do you know how it feels to have absolutely no control over anything? It feels like you're lost, you're suspended in mid-air and you can't get your feet back on the ground. It's scary as hell and it's hopeless Rick." Her eyes watered and she took a breath to calm herself.

"But Rick, YOU…you were my constant. You were the one thing in my life that remained unmovable. You tethered me and kept me from drifting away. You were more than strong enough, and you did more than carry me Rick, you stood by me and taught me to walk again. YOU got my feet back on the ground. Please, don't ever think you weren't enough, or that you didn't do enough. You were everything Rick. Everything."

He pulled her into him, rubbing her back and kissing her head. "I love you." He spoke. "I always will." She moved to look back into his eyes, "me too Rick, me too."

* * *

That afternoon Rick and Kate took a walk through central park, enjoying the sunny day and the opportunity to just be in each other's presence. He carried a picnic basket with him, scoping out the perfect location to set up their late afternoon lunch. When he'd identified the perfect spot, beneath the shade of several trees, she spread out the blanket she'd been holding and he set up the picnic for them.

He made himself comfortable resting his back against a tree and she moved to sit between his legs, leaning back on his chest. Together they watched a family playing in the grass. Kate smiled to herself.

"Do you remember the last time we did this Rick?"

"Yes I do." He spoke, recalling her pain over the thought of never having a family of her own. There was such a strong possibility that the chemotherapy would leave her unable to conceive and the fact tore them both apart.

"I remember us thinking about how we would have a family should we not be able to conceive." He spoke to her as she caressed her tiny baby bump, the evidence of their growing child.

"and now, here we are." She spoke as he watched her caress their unborn child. They were both silent for a moment, watching the family, who had twin boys that appeared to be about 18 months old.

"Thank god it's not twins." She spoke. "I think it would be too much for my body."

"Yeah." He agreed. "The doctor only heard one heartbeat and saw only one baby, and I was relieved about that too."

"Do you think everything is _really_ going to be alright?" She asked him softly.

"Yes. I do." He spoke, trying to reassure her.

* * *

**4 weeks prior**

When she'd found out she was pregnant she went to Lanie to confirm with a blood test. She was only 6 weeks along, which although detectable with pregnancy tests, was very early. Lanie agreed to do a blood test to check for her levels of HcG, the hormone that would be readily apparent in her blood if she were actually pregnant, which she was.

After their wedding they found a good OBGYN, Dr. Clarke, one who specialized in high-risk pregnancies. She was very nice and very thorough, but was concerned that the couple had become pregnant so soon after finishing chemotherapy.

She'd explained to them both that although more than 6 months had passed, which was the absolute minimum amount of time that they should wait (she got pregnant after about 8 months), other studies recommended waiting several years.

Upon hearing this Kate became very frightened, Rick holding tightly to her hand spoke to the doctor,

"Why such a wide difference between recommendations? Some say 6 months, others say years? Which is it?" He asked.

"Yeah, what is going to happen to our baby?" Kate nervously asked.

Dr. Clarke was honest with them, sharing everything she knew about pregnancies and chemotherapy.

"Mr. and Ms. Castle, the reason that there is such a discrepancy in recommendations for waiting is because we simply don't know that much about how chemotherapy effects prenatal development." They were both surprised, considering all of the advances in medicine, they figured this would be something that was established in the field.

As if reading their minds, Dr. Clarke clarified, "It isn't because nobody has tried to study it. It's because most women who get pregnant soon after chemotherapy suffer from what are called spontaneous abortions. So we don't know much about long-term developmental complications." Beckett gasped, tears in her eyes and hand over her mouth.

"Because chemotherapy damages the ovum, it is difficult to know how the genetic code is altered or damaged. It really depends on the woman, the treatment, on many factors really. We find that we are unable to track the long-term effects of chemotherapy on infants because most women are not able to carry to term, as the pregnancy isn't genetically viable." Kate was stunned, and scared.

"When will we know if this pregnancy is viable?" Rick asked, squeezing his wife's shoulders.

"Well, the vast majority of women in this situation will lose the pregnancy during the first trimester; you are about 7 weeks along now. I'm afraid we will have to wait and see. There is no way for us to tell if there is genetic damage to the embryo at this stage in the pregnancy." Both parents nodded to the doctor, who offered them a glimpse of hope.

"You've made it 7 weeks, you're half way through the first trimester. Many would have lost the pregnancy by now. Let's see you again at 10 weeks and go from there ok?" Beckett nodded, feeling somewhat numb. She'd been so happy about the pregnancy, but now she was afraid to hope. It wasn't fair.

They walked around on pins and needles for the next three weeks, taking things one day at a time, and silently giving thanks at the end of each day that their child was still alive. By week 10 they returned to see Dr. Clarke.

As Kate lay on the examination table, Rick holding her hand nervously, they waited for the doctor to pick up on what was supposed to be their baby's beating heart. After a few moments they heard it, Kate could swear it sounded more beautiful than the most moving orchestra she'd ever heard. Rick was feeling the same way, as the doctor examined the picture on the screen.

"Well. You can hear that strong heartbeat. The baby's size is normal, I see the head, stomach, two hands and two feet." She smiled to them as she pointed them out. "They all look normally proportioned and based on this I'd have to say you have a normally growing fetus for this stage in the pregnancy."

Kate let out a sigh of relief, before looking at Rick. His expression matched her own, "Look Kate" He said pointing to the picture, "it's a little predator monster!" She swatted him as they both laughed together. Dr. Clarke smiled,

"They all look like that at 10 weeks, giant head and little body." She smiled at them and waited for Kate to sit back up. "So does this mean we're in the clear? Our baby is healthy?" The smile fell from the doctor's face.

"Kate, this means that things are looking good. As you get ready to move into your second trimester we will continue to monitor your baby closely. When you are further along we can test for some of the common genetic disorders too." She paused for a minute, looking from one parent to the other.

"If you carry the baby to term, we will be able to know more after he or she is delivered. As I said before, most pregnancies from eggs that have been damaged by chemotherapy spontaneously abort much sooner than this. It is a good sign that your egg may have been perfectly healthy and that you're going to have a normal pregnancy and healthy baby. We just can't be sure until after it is born." They nodded.

She knew she would have a million questions for the doctor as her pregnancy progressed, but for now she'd had all the information she could process.

* * *

As they lay in the park on that Saturday afternoon they smiled, happy to know that they had made it this far. Both carried around the silent fear that something terrible could happen, but they also had the hope that everything would be just fine.

_It's so much like Cancer_, Beckett thought to herself. _Why must there always be such dramatic differences? _She felt this way during every check up appointment. They stopped doing the X-rays and MRIs because of the pregnancy and were simply feeling her incision sites for lumps and checking her blood cell counts to get an idea of what the cancer was doing, if there was any.

She knew that they had no real way of telling what was going on inside her body without those pictures, and the thought of what could be occurring scared her. It's always such dramatic differences, _you're healthy and cancer free or it's in your lungs and you're stage 4 and it's terminal. You have a normally growing baby who will suffer from no ill effects of the chemotherapy because your egg was not damaged, or you won't carry to term, or your baby will be deformed or blind, or something equally horrific. _The thoughts passed through her head and she shuttered, looking back to the happy family with the twin boys playing.

They'd read more about eggs and ovulation, if the egg was in the primordial stage, or was not growing yet, nothing would have gotten through, no drugs and no hormones. If it was developing at all there was danger, even if she wasn't ovulating at the time. She was closer to 30 than 40, so the likelihood was that she'd had several eggs that were in the primordial stage and she'd not enter into menopause as long as they could mature.

As if reading her thoughts Rick spoke, one day that will be us, and we'll take our baby here and he or she will play happily. You'll see Kate, I believe it. She simply turned her head to face him and softly kissed his lips. "You believe it that and I believe in you. For now, I will make that enough for me." She smiled and kissed him again. As she told him earlier that morning, he really was her rock and her hope. As long as she had him by her side she swore she could make it though anything.

She sighed contentedly to herself as Rick's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked.

"May I ask who is calling?" He said somewhat nervously to whoever was on the other line.

Kate got lost in watching the family play on the grass again, totally oblivious to the news her husband was receiving at that moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Richard Castle felt numb. He felt numb, confused, angry and scared. When the social worker called he had been laying in the park with Beckett leaning against him. They were enjoying the afternoon and the calmness of a quiet weekend together. Then his phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hello, I'm trying to get in touch with Richard Castle. I called his home and was given this number." Rick was confused. Afterall, his mother never gave his number out to strangers unless there was an emergency.

"May I ask who is calling?" He questioned. The confusion was evident in his voice.

"Yes, sorry. My name is Kelly and I work with the Arizona department of child protective services. Is this Richard Castle?"

"Yes, this is." He answered, still unsure of why she would be calling him.

"Mr. Castle, did you know a woman by the name of Jacinda Collins?" She waited for him to answer.

"Um, yes I did." He answered, not liking the use of the past tense in the woman's phrasing.

"I'm sorry to report to you that she was killed in the commercial airliner that crashed several days ago."

"I'm so sorry to hear that." He replied.

"Mr. Castle, were you aware that Ms. Collins had a child?"

"No. I wasn't. She never mentioned it, but we only knew eachother briefly." Castle clarified.

"Yes." Kelly spoke, "The thing is, Mr. Castle, she had a living will drawn up before she died and she named you as the child's biological father."

"She did WHAT?" Rick sat up suddenly, his yell alerting the family that was playing with their twins nearby. Beckett sat up and turned to him, she was wearing an alarmed expression her face, hoping for some indicator of what he was talking about.

"Mr. Castle, if you can come out here, I'm sure we can figure all of this out. The sooner you can make it, the better, there is a little boy with nowhere to go and the sooner we can find him stable placement the better off he will be." Castle allowed her words to sink in and spoke again, still unable to think clearly.

"Stable? But I'm not, I mean, I can't be…" He wasn't sure how to finish the sentence. Castle felt so completely lost.

"Mr. Castle, I'm not saying that you have to take the boy. I'm simply stating that if you could come out here we could run some tests, determine whether you are the boy's father. If you are then we can go from there, you're not listed on the boy's birth certificate so you would have the choice to take him on."

Castle took a deep breath. "This isn't happening." He spoke, more to himself than to the woman on the phone. Beckett became increasingly concerned by Castle's behavior, desperate to know what was going on.

"Mr. Castle, if you truly don't want anything to do with this you are not legally obligated. We can make the boy a ward of the state and try to find placement for him. I was instructed to call you and let you know that you had been indicated as the boy's father." Castle sighed heavily and spoke.

"No, don't do that. I'll be on the next flight. Can I reach you at this number?"

"Yes sir, you can. Fly into Phoenix and give me a call tomorrow. We'll take it from there." Castle nodded and hung up the phone after promising to call her.

He looked up to Kate's confused expression, unable to tell her this news.

"Rick what happened?" He took a deep breath, terrified of how she might react.

Castle simply stood and packed up their things. Beckett remained quiet as she stood next to him, picking up their blanket and folding it in her arms.

"Is it Alexis? Martha?"

"No." He said somberly, "they're both fine."

She walked with him then, heading in the direction of the loft and waiting for him to speak. Whatever he needed to tell her wasn't going to be easy, that she knew. Thoughts raced through her head, but nothing made sense. Any doctors, any information about the baby, any news along those lines would have come directly to her. _Was he called for a book tour?_ She thought to herself.

The timing would be bad, but she certainly could handle things without him for a few weeks. The pregnancy was going smoothly and things were status quo at work. The more she thought about it she realized that the timing wasn't bad at all. She just felt like it would be bad because any time away from him would be unpleasant. She reached for his hand and squeezed it, wanting to show her support.

He looked at her, tears in his eyes. "Kate." He spoke softly. "We need to talk."

* * *

They entered the loft, Kate walking silently behind her husband as he made his way inside and placed the picnic basket on the kitchen counter. Kate put the blanket down and grabbed a bottle of water.

"So, do you want to tell me what's going on?" He looked at her and nodded.

"Kate." He paused to take a deep breath and then continued, "Do you remember the April before you got sick?" She nodded at him, figuring he was talking about their silent standoff after her secret came out. She was completely confused as to why something that occurred so long ago would have any impact on them now.

"Do you mean when we were fighting? Yes I remember." She stated with confusion evident in her voice.

"Yeah." He spoke. "Do you remember Jacinda, the flight attendant?" Kate nodded. She didn't like where this was going at all. Her face fell, a mixture of fear and anger setting in, although she didn't know what she had to fear or to be angry about. She shook the emotions off as residual feelings.

"What about her Castle?" She questioned.

"She was killed in that plane crash, the commercial airliner that went down." He began to explain.

"Oh my gosh that's terrible." Kate spoke. News of the crash had been all over the media since it happened.

"Yes. It is." Castle agreed, before continuing. "That call I received in the park today. It was from a social worker." Kate's brow furrowed.

"Why would a social worker contact you?"Kate asked him. She still couldn't figure out where he was going with all of this.

"Because Jacinda had a baby," he answered, continuing before she had time to respond to him, "and she claimed that the baby was mine." With a deep breath he finally looked up at her.

She stared at him, mouth open and a look of shock on her face. "She said WHAT?" There was disbelief and anger in her voice.

"Castle did you two even sleep together? You only saw her for like a week." Castle just looked at her, the answer all over his ashamed face.

She threw her hands into the air, "Of course you did."

"It only happened once Kate, I thought you rejected me and I was hurting. The weekend I flew to Vegas she was the flight attendant."

"I thought you said you met her on the flight home?" Kate questioned him, irritation clearly in her voice.

"I didn't want you to think that I picked up a girl in Vegas and just brought her home."

"But you DID Castle." He lowered his head in shame. Afterall, he did.

"So what happened?" She asked, a little less anger and a little more resignation in her voice.

"I met her on the way to Vegas, she was off for the weekend so she spent it there. I got incredibly drunk, wanting to forget….everything." Kate grimaced, knowing full well that his decisions were made because of the broken heart she'd caused. Still, she never forced him to sleep with another woman.

"I don't actually remember what happened, but I know that when I woke up the next morning she was there." He looked at Kate then, fear in his expression. She simply nodded at him and lowered her head. In a somewhat defeated voice she spoke,

"Castle you didn't cheat on me. We weren't together. If I had been honest about my feelings you wouldn't have been there in the first place."

"Kate it only happened that one night and I was too drunk to remember. I didn't drink again and I didn't sleep with her again. She only stuck around a few days before she made an excuse and had to go back home." Castle continued,

"I figured that she got sick of being around me after I'd been around you. So, I wasn't surprised when she simply left. Turns out she had to leave to get back to her husband."

"What, she was married?" Beckett exclaimed, "unbelievable."

"She certainly didn't tell me she was, and evidently she didn't tell her husband about her 'extra curricular activities'." Castle spoke.

"So, she had a baby?"

"Yeah. That's what the social worker said. She said that she had a legal document drawn up naming me as the biological father."

Kate sunk to the couch, as the news washed over her she simply cradled herself. _What if it is true?_ Kate questioned to herself. _What if he has another baby? What will that mean for us? What about our baby?_ She struggled to not let the panic she was feeling in, to not start to cry at the thought of him loving somebody else's baby more than theirs.

"Hey," He spoke to her. "It's going to be ok." She shifted her eyes away from him and stood, "Castle, you should book a flight and go. We need to figure things out." She left him on the couch and went into their bedroom alone.

As he packed a bag she lay on her side, pretending to be asleep. She wasn't angry at him at all. She couldn't be. He had sex with the women once, in a drunken state, and she'd never told him about her pregnancy. Now she was gone and there was a little boy with no parents.

_How old is he? _She wondered to herself. She was diagnosed with cancer shortly after the baby would have been conceived, _so that would mean the baby had to be young, 40ish weeks would put him born January I think. _Her eyes remained closed as she did the math, _so around 6 or 7 months maybe?_ She did her best to think clearly and calmly, but the uncertainty still threatened to overwhelm her.

She felt a dip on the bed, followed by his arms wrapping around her. He placed a kiss on her cheek and spoke.

"Kate, I've got to go to the airport." She could not answer. She was afraid if she tried to speak she would cry.

"Kate, please." He waited but got no response. Finally he sighed, squeezing her arm.

"I love you and I'll call you in the morning." She raised her hand to his, gave it a light squeeze and nodded, placing a kiss on the back of his hand, but did not speak. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, taking her body language as a sign that she was still in this all with him. He left the room that night with a sense of fear and uncertainty.

After updating his mother on the situation, and promising to call her (as well as making her promise to look after Kate), he grabbed a cab and headed for the airport. He hated leaving Kate like that, but there was a child involved and the sooner he got it sorted out the better.

In just a few hours his life had been turned upside down. When he woke up that morning life was good, he and Kate were solid and their baby was doing fine. Now he was on his way across the country to learn whether or not he had another _child_, and he was terrified that he was leaving Kate, wondering if the news had reduced their marriage to shambles.

* * *

**Big news, high emotions and crazy pregnant hormones make Kate a little overwhelmed...and we all know an overwhelmed Kate is a somewhat closed-off Kate. Sad, but true...**


	4. Chapter 4

Kate woke up early the next morning, rolling over to feel the cold spot beside her. She found it funny that she'd spent years sleeping alone, and just after months of being with Castle she couldn't imagine not having him sleep beside her. This was also the first time in nearly a year that they had slept apart. When she got out of bed, moving to the kitchen to make some coffee, she thought back to the night before. Yes, she'd been hit with a bombshell, but so had he. She was filled with guilt and a bit of self-loathing at her behavior. _I should have been more supportive_, she admonished herself. _I didn't even get up to say goodbye to him. _

She shuttered to think about how difficult it must have been for him to leave, so many unanswered questions on his mind, and she didn't even get out of bed to say goodbye. As Kate poured herself a cup of coffee she began to think of potential ways that she could make it up to him. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't hear Martha come into the kitchen.

"Good morning Kate." She spoke.

Kate turned to her and smiled, somewhat ashamed to make eye contact with the older woman. She knew Martha knew about the baby that Rick had gone to tend to. So, naturally, she figured that Martha also knew that Kate didn't bother to get up and see her husband off. Kate looked down at the coffee cup in her hands, a sense of shame washing over her.

Martha simply placed a hand on her arm and gave her an encouraging squeeze. "How are you feeling this morning Kate?"

"I'm ok I suppose." She spoke. She could tell by the expression on her face that Martha didn't buy it.

"Ok. So how are you really feeling?" She asked again, pushing the detective for the truth.

Kate sighed. "I don't know. Confused, I suppose." She paused and then added, "and a bit ashamed that I wasn't more supportive of Rick." Martha raised her eyebrows.

"Kate you just found out that your husband might have a child with another woman. I think the fact that you didn't overreact and leave spoke volumes." Martha waited for her daughter-in-law to make eye contact with her before continuing.

"and if you don't mind my saying Beckett, not too long ago you would have run." She put it simply and bluntly, but Kate knew it was not an insult. Instead, it was a compliment. It was an acknowledgement of how far she'd come with managing her emotions. Martha was right, a year ago and Kate would have run.

She smiled softly at Martha, "Thanks, but I still wish I were more supportive."

"Well, this just started Kate. There will be plenty of support for you to give in the future." She eyed her somewhat sternly to be sure that the impact of her words were not lost.

Beckett understood. Afterall, if this child was Rick's son she would have to decide how supportive she was willing to be. _How supportive would I be?_ She asked herself. She knew she would never ask him to give his child up, but would he want her to act as the child's mother? They were already expecting one child, how were they going to manage another infant? How would they work things out if Rick didn't want Kate to have a say in how this child was raised? Sure she'd have a say in their own child's upbringing, but he was an experienced father and she didn't know what she was doing.

Martha could tell that Kate's thoughts were spinning out of control like a runaway train. "Kate." She spoke, bringing the younger woman out of her anxious thoughts, "Whatever happens, you'll work it out together." She nodded to Martha.

"So," Martha continued, "what do you plan to do?"

"Well," Kate began, "I think that I should go pack. I've got to get to Arizona, don't you think?"

Martha smiled widely at Kate, placing her hands on both of Kate's arms to turn the woman to face her directly, "Good girl!" She stated.

She turned to go, but spoke one last time before heading back to her room, "Remind him to give me a call when he has news."

"Will do Martha."

* * *

Rick swore that it had been the longest day of his life. First thing that morning he met with Kelly, the social worker, to discuss Christopher. He had not met the child yet, as it was determined that they would have a paternity test conducted first. When he was informed that it would take several days to obtain the results, he demanded that they allow him to pay for the test himself. With the right amount of money he knew that he could have a team dedicated to analyzing the samples, and results could be arrived at within 24 hours.

So, that morning he'd visited the lab that would be conducting the test. After an absurd amount of paperwork they took three cheek swabs for testing. Next he met with the attorney who was handling Jacinda's divorce, as he also oversaw the drafting of her living will. The social worker attended as well and, at Castle's request, so did the woman's ex-husband, Jack Collins.

Jack was not thrilled to see Castle, but soon understood that Rick had no knowledge that his wife had been married. It warmed him slightly to the man, but not much. Still, if this meeting was going to speed things along concerning placement of the boy he was willing to participate. Although he'd absolved himself from any legal obligation to the child when he'd had the court order to remove his name from the birth certificate, his divorce with Jacinda had not been finalized when she'd died. Therefore, as her husband, he had responsibilities over her estate.

The lawyer sat across from the three adults in the room, greeting Castle and the social worker before offering his condolences to Mr. Collins. After the awkwardness of the exchange passed, they got down to business.

"Mr. Castle," the lawyer began. "Ms. Collins noted specifically that should anything happen to her, that the biological father be contacted and take responsibility for the boy. She left your name and address in the document as well. Now, I understand that a paternity test is being conducted to determine whether or not you are the child's biological father.

"That's correct." The social worker announced.

"What happens if the child is not mine?" Castle spoke.

"If the child is not yours you will have no legal obligation. Because she stated her wish to have you care for the child, and she has no next of kin, the option will be yours." The lawyer replied.

"Yes, but what will happen to the child if I say no?" Castle questioned.

"The child will most likely become a ward of the state and placed into foster care until permanent placement can be found. With a young infant it shouldn't be too difficult to place him." The lawyer elaborated.

"Ok." Castle replied, "and what happens if the child is mine?"

"Well Mr. Castle, legally speaking, your name is not on the child's birth certificate. Because Mr. Collins has his name removed, there is nobody obligated to care for the child. Her will is simply a notarized legal document stating her wishes. Nobody can force you to be a parent to the child. However, if you are the biological father the option to have your name placed on the birth certificate will be given and you will assume all legal rights and responsibilities for the child."

Castle nodded at the man.

"You want nothing to do with him?" Castle turned to Mr. Collins and questioned him.

"Christopher is not my son. I don't want the responsibility of raising someone else's child." He spoke bitterly.  
Castle nodded, although he couldn't imagine being able to walk away from any child.

Once the meeting was over it was decided that they would allow for Castle to meet with the child. Afterall, according to Jacinda's will, he had an option to take the child regardless of his paternity. He honestly didn't know what he was going to do. He needed to talk to Kate.

He picked up his phone and dialed her number, waiting for her to pick up. However, the phone immediately went to voicemail, indicating that her phone was turned off. _Is she that upset with me?_ He questioned himself.

He was conflicted. Learning about the child was definitely a bombshell, shaking them both to the core. They would have to discuss how it was going to effect the both of them, their marriage and their unborn child. However, she was right when she'd admitted that he never cheated. He couldn't imagine that she would be angry at him because he couldn't find blame in the situation, aside from the poor judgment one night while he was hurting.

"Please pick up the phone" he said aloud as he dialed. This time he left a message.

"Kate. It's me. Look, I'm sorry I rushed off so quickly last night. I wish I could have stayed longer to work things out, but we had to move fast on this one." He paused for a moment, thinking about his next words.

"Kate I miss you. I love you. Please call me back. I'm staying at the Hilton on West 54th if You can't get through to my cell. You can call the hotel and ask for room 213." He paused again.

"Kate I love you so much. Please call. I need to hear your voice."

He put the phone down and sunk onto the mattress of his hotel room bed. He needed to shower and he needed to eat, but was too distracted by the feeling of emptiness that filled him after not being able to reach his wife. He needed to know that they were ok.

* * *

Finally he showered, changing into a t-shirt and boxer shorts. He was planning to go to bed early and catch up on the sleep he'd missed the night before. As he turned the sheets down he heard a knock on his door. He moved to open it and was shocked to find a very tired-looking Kate Beckett on the other side of the door, duffel bag thrown over her shoulder.

Before he had the chance to speak she charged him, wrapping her arms around his torso and planting a kiss on his mouth. "Rick." She spoke between kisses. "I'm so sorry I didn't say goodbye." More kisses were placed along his jaw.

"So you flew to Arizona to say goodbye?" He asked, somewhat confused and pleasantly alarmed to have her in his arms.

"I flew to Arizona to support my husband." She spoke as she buried her face into the crook of his neck and inhaled his scent. They'd only been apart for one night, yet they acted like they'd been separated for years. She pushed him further into the room and kicked the door shut behind her.

Within seconds she was on him again, kissing him fiercely. He returned her passion gladly, begging for entrance into her mouth with his tongue as they moved back toward the bed. Kate wasn't sure what had come over her, she just planned to kiss him, to show her love and dedication, but when his tongue met hers she was filled with an undeniable need for him. She couldn't get close enough, but that didn't stop her from trying as she slid the palms of her hands under his shirt. He simply lifted it from himself and threw it to the floor.

Soon she followed suit, leaving a trail of her own garments as they made their way onto the bed. Kate reacted strongly to his touch, as he drove her mad again and again. She'd read that some women experienced heightened sexual arousal and sensation during pregnancy due to increased blood flow to the area.

In that moment she didn't care how it was happening, or why it was happening, but her body couldn't get enough to him. With every move, every position, he was able to bring her over the edge repeatedly. When they were finally satisfied they lay in bed, her head resting on his chest and her hair sprawled out around her.

He caressed her bare back slowly, a wide smile on his face at having her with him. She wore a similar smile on her own face. "Kate," he spoke softly, "you came." He was filled with utter joy and disbelief.

"Yes I did Rick. Several times in fact." She snickered as he swatted at her back.

"You came to Arizona Kate." He elaborated, a mocked indignation in his voice. "You're so crude." He finally commented with a smile on his face.

"You love it." She spoke, "and yes, I wanted to be with you. I didn't handle the news well and closed down a bit. We're married now though and I don't want to do that Rick." He pulled a blanket over them both when he felt her shiver.

"We promised that we would be open, that we would communicate and not let misunderstandings or unspoken feelings take root in our marriage." He kissed her head while caressing her back and her arms.

"Thank you for being here." He spoke softly to her.

"I'll always come for you." She reassured him.

* * *

By 9am Monday morning both Rick and Kate were standing with the social worker at a small house in the suburbs of phoenix. Kelly knocked and waited for the door to open. She was delighted to meet Kate and very impressed that she had the dedication to fly out to be with Rick, even if there was a possibility that the child wasn't his.

When the door opened a middle-aged women with brown hair and glasses was standing there. She was delighted to see Kelly and greeted her as if she were an old friend. Kelly turned to Rick and Kate and spoke,

"Sylvia Stern, These are the Castles. Rick and Kate, this is Sylvia. She is one of our best foster mothers. She often comes to our rescue to take children who have difficulty being placed." Kelly explained the woman to Castle and Beckett.

"Hello," Sylvia extended her hand to both of them and invited them in. "He just woke up and he's playing with Sarah now." They were led to a small living room where a girl, who looked to be about 15 sat, holding the baby who had to be Christopher. Sarah smiled at them, standing to bring the boy over to the couple. Out of assumption she moved to hand the baby to Kate.

Beckett looked at her with slight panic. Before she could react Castle stepped in and spoke, "I'll take him." He moved to take the baby into his arms. As he held the baby Kate studied them. The little boy was adorable. He had dirty blonde hair, closer to brown than blonde, that fell into loose curls around his face. His cheeks were round and his eyes were sky blue, he reminded her of a little cherub. She couldn't help but smile at the boy as he took Castle in with wide eyes.

The baby moved his fingers to Ricks face and placed both hands on his chin, as if he were cradling his face. Castle giggled at him and spoke, "Hello Christopher! How are you today?" When he opened his mouth to speak the baby took advantage of it and shoved his fingers into Castle's mouth. Having had experience with infants, he was familiar with babies this age and their fixation with mouths. Although usually it was with their own mouth and putting everything within grasp into it.

Castle moved his hands to the boy's slobbery fingers and Christopher grabbed hold of him. "Wow, little guy. You've got quite a grasp there, he spoke as the baby tried to move to chew, or slobber on Rick's hand. He began to laugh and the baby simply cooed in response.

Kelly smiled at the exchange and turned to Sylvia. "How has he been?" She asked.

Sylvia answered, "He's been ok. Kind of difficult to soothe, I can tell he is not happy with the disruption to his routine." Babies this young always broke Sylvia's heart. On one hand, they were too young to understand anything other than mom is not here and I don't know why. However, on the other hand, babies as young as Christopher had the best chances at a stable and uninterrupted life if he could be adopted and attach to new parents. It was sad, but it was true.

Rick turned to Kate and smiled at her. She walked up to them both and ran a hand tentatively though the boy's hair. "Hello Christopher." She spoke. She let her hand fall to lightly caress his soft cheek as he watched her with wide blue eyes. "He's beautiful Castle."

He smiled at Kate, the resemblance of the boy to Castle was there, but the eyes were a dead give away. He eyed her pleadingly, unsure how to communicate with her the enormity of what he was requesting of her. She looked down at her own feet and took a deep breath. When she looked back up at Rick she moved closer to him and placed her palm flat on his chest.

"Always means Always Rick." She softly spoke, knowing that he would understand.

His eyes filled with tears and he raised his hand to cover her own. Both laughed when they felt a small, slobbery hand smack against theirs.

In that moment Kelly's cell phone rang. She answered it and nodded, thanking the person on the other line. She then hung up and turned to Rick and Kate. They looked to her, but didn't need the confirmation. They already knew.

"Congratulations Mr. Castle. It's a boy."

Kelly paused for a moment before adding, "I'll give you two time to think things over." She was completely unaware of the connection between Castle and Beckett, so she missed the entire conversation they had moments before her phone rang.

Kate turned to Kelly and spoke, "We don't need to talk it over. We've already decided. We're taking him home." Kelly smiled widely.

"That is wonderful to hear." Kate simply placed her hand on the boy's back, feeling the short breaths he was taking.

"We can take him back to New York and file for adoption there." He spoke.

Actually, just take the birth certificate, the living will and the paternity test to family court and they will have your name added to the certificate. You're already the legal guardian because you're accepting responsibility. Unless it is harmful to the child's health, the courts will respect your guardianship in the mean time.

"So I don't need to adopt him?" Rick spoke.

"That is correct." Kelly nodded, "However, should you decide to do so, Kate would have to legally adopt him." Kate didn't say anything, but Rick took her hand and squeezed it. He leaned into her and whispered,

"Are you sure Kate?" She looked into his eyes intensely.

"He is your child. He is part of you. Therefore, he's part of me. We are the only family he has, so there isn't really a choice." She told him.

"Yes, but how do you feel?"

She took a deep breath and smiled, it didn't quite reach her eyes. "We are starting our family sooner than expected, but yes. I am ok Rick." He smiled at her and kissed her cheek lovingly.

Kate silently prayed that she would have what it took to get through all of this.

* * *

**Let me clarify, the focus of this story is not about drama between Rick and Kate over him having a child. It offers an opportunity to get inside of Kate's head as she experiences parenthood before her own child is born. I'm sorry if some find it cliche, but is written to give Kate a chance to tap into some insecurities and work through them as she progresses through a high-risk pregnancy and uncertainties about her future. Thanks for reading as always. **


	5. Chapter 5

The flight home had been long. Despite being in first class, which helped them but did little for the other passengers glaring at them, it was a long flight. Kate couldn't blame Christopher for his cries. Afterall, if her ears hurt when they changed altitudes she could only imagine how it felt for an infant. She looked to Castle every now and then to catch him staring at her with a wide smile on his face.

She'd offered to take the baby because she had the window seat and they thought there would be less of a chance for flailing little arms to be struck by a cart, flight attendants or other passengers.

She was terrified when she first held the boy, which was while they waited to board their plane. Castle was struggling to find his boarding pass and nonchalantly handed him over, "can you take him for a sec?" he said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

What Kate didn't know was that he knew exactly where his boarding pass was. He could tell that she was nervous, as she would eye the baby with a mixture of pity, curiosity and trepidation. So, he decided to play it off as if it were no big deal at all, not giving her much time to think about it. Soon she had him in her arms. Christopher looked at her, blinking but not taking his gaze from her face. He seemed fixated on her.

Soon Kate relaxed to the idea of holding the baby, rubbing circles on his back and smiling at him. When she began to speak to him softly his gaze became even wider. "That's it," Rick spoke, "he must be my son."

"What do you mean?" Kate inquired.

"Well, he's smitten with you. That seems to be a Castle man trait." He grinned at her and was awarded with a similar smile and a kiss. When Rick offered to take the baby back Kate felt slightly disappointed. She let him go back to his dad though, as the baby was coming home with them permanently.

There would be plenty of time to hold him. Although she was still very much uncomfortable with the idea of raising this baby, namely because she didn't feel up to the task, didn't feel qualified for the task, in that moment she felt herself warm to the boy.

On the flight home the baby wailed in Kate's arms, as she tried to soothe him with calming words and soft sounds. The cries lasted for about 30 minutes after takeoff, and resumed as the decent into LaGuardia began. It struck her as odd that she was now the one that everyone else was glaring at. Not too long ago Kate would have been glaring at the screaming child on the plane, and now the child was with her. She took a deep breath as the thought set in.

* * *

Before they'd checked out of the hotel, Rick and Kate stopped by a local department store to pick up a few necessities. A plastic bag filled with a few diapers, a bear, his bottle, some formula and his blanket were all that the boy had in foster care. They didn't buy too much because they would be traveling, but a collapsible stroller, a sturdy diaper bag, wipes and powder, a pacifier, and a giraffe toy of some sort that Castle had insisted on finding for the teething boy were purchased.

Once they were back at the hotel Kate packed for the both of them while the baby played with his giraffe toy on the floor, and Castle spoke with his mother on the phone. He updated her on the situation and informed her that they would be coming home with one more member of the family.

As she listened to him talking with his mother Kate silently wondered how he was taking all of this. 48 hours ago he had one child and another on the way, with many months to prepare for the addition. Now he had a 6 month old son that he didn't know existed. For as shell shocked as she felt, she could only imagine what was going through his head.

He never let his nerves show though. Castle never yelled or screamed, he never threw things or cursed the woman who had denied him knowledge of his child. He was a father, and that meant putting his own emotions aside so that what was right could be done for his child. Right now the child needed love and stability more than anything else.

Martha agreed that while they made the journey home she would do her best to make the spare bedroom usable for Christopher. It started with calling Ryan and Esposito to come over and move furniture around to accommodate a crib. They'd given her permission to fill them in, but requested that she not tell Alexis until they were home. She would be at the loft, with her family and in the boy's presence when the news was broken. Castle didn't want her to find out over the phone.

Having been the mother of a baby boy, Martha took great pleasure in identifying items as the boys took her shopping. They loaded them up and came away with three essentials for the time being, a crib, a small changing table and a diaper genie. Ryan claimed that the last purchase was something that his own sister swore by. She'd also arranged for a storage space and had movers come to take the spare bed from the room in order to make room for the baby's furniture.

When Rick and Kate arrived home they were met by all three adults, who were eager to meet the newest surprise addition to the Castle clan. The curly haired boy was doted upon by his grandmother, who didn't try to hide the tears in her eyes. Kate was happy to see it, but was once again filled with doubt over the place of their unborn child.

She knew that it wasn't rational, but what if their baby was born with some sort of deformity? What if he or she had a mental handicap or couldn't see or hear? How could a child with so many deficits compete with the normal and healthy, adorable child in front of her? Once again Kate was taken in by a fear of the possibilities that could occur with their unborn child. She silently wondered if this baby was a sign from the universe that the one she carried was not going to live. She shuttered at the illogical thought.

_Do I actually resent Christopher?_ Kate questioned herself, feeling somewhat terrified that she could possibly harbor negative feelings towards a helpless child who had just lost his mother. The mere thought of her resenting the baby made her feel sick to her stomach. It made her want to hold him and sooth him. _I guess I don't_, she reasoned in response to the rush of protective emotions she felt. _So where is this coming from?_ She wondered.

As if reading her insecurities about everything, Castle moved behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist, bringing them both to rest on her baby bump. He whispered into her ear, "You are going to be a great mom, no matter how many children we have."

She turned to face him and smiled, grateful that he knew her well enough to calm her anxieties without her having to speak. He then added, "and I can't wait to meet this one." He rubbed her belly again. "They will be siblings and playmates." Kate smiled at that. She hadn't considered that the children would have each other; they would be just a year and a couple months apart. She smiled at the thought of it.

* * *

The next morning, Martha volunteered to watch her newest grandchild while Rick and Kate did some extra shopping. They loved the furniture she'd picked out, a white crib with sky blue skirting, with a changing table to match. However, there were still many supplies needed.

Given the circumstances, Gates had approved Beckett to take the week off to settle into the unexpected changes in her life. She'd offered her more time, which she was legally obligated to do, but Kate declined. She wanted to save her leave for when the baby was born and she needed to physically recover from the delivery.

Her boss understood, but promised Kate that she would come by over the weekend to visit the baby. After Kate was diagnosed with cancer, Gates became a rock in her life. She was a mentor and a guide, helping Kate find the next step when she didn't know the way. She never would have imagined that their relationship would evolve to such a place when she met the woman.

She and Rick had been talking for quite awhile about Gates recently, as they made a decision that was bound to send shockwaves across the precinct. They were going to ask the woman to be their baby's Godmother. Rick questioned Lanie and Esposito, or Ryan and Jenny but Kate's response was that 1. If he and she were dead, there was a good chance that the boys were too, and 2. She liked the idea of having someone who didn't actively work in the field looking after their child.

That afternoon, the first of Kate's week off, they shopped. They hit several department stores to purchase essentials, including cloths, blankets and sheets, bottles, rash cream, formula, a car seat for each of their vehicles, a bouncing chair, and a pack-n-play crib. At the look of confusion on her face Castle explained to her that a pack-n-play crib was a fold out play pen that also doubled as a bed. It was perfect for travel and provided the baby a safe spot no matter where they were.

They also brought him toys, lots and lots of toys. Castle went crazy and Kate rolled her eyes at him. At one point he came down the aisle with his arms filled with a giant stuffed bear. "Are you trying to scare him Rick?" She asked, a hint of teasing in her voice.

"What?" He asked as if she'd said something completely ridiculous. "Who doesn't love a teddy bear?"

"I wouldn't love a teddy bear that looked big enough to eat me." She smiled at him, but kept a serious tone in her voice.

"Is that really necessary Castle?" She spoke as he piled the bear into their cart on top of the numerous toys he'd added.

"Just think Kate. A couple of weeks and I'll get to do it all again!" He spoke animatedly and pointed to her pregnant belly. She simply rolled her eyes at him, the smile never leaving his face. She knew he was telling the truth, and now he had two babies to spoil. She couldn't help but laugh at the fact.

When they returned home they began the long task of unpacking. The dresser in the spare room became Christopher's, as they folded the outfits they'd purchased for him. Kate had to admit that part had been fun. Cute little shirts and pants, adorable onesies, several pairs of socks and soft baby slippers, and a few pairs of baby sneakers were all piled into the dresser.

Beckett laughed out loud when Castle pulled a tiny jean jacket off a hanger in the store and said, "Hey! We could cut his hair into a mullet and he could be baby MacGyver!" After she was done laughing she dropped her face and tried to adopt a serious expression. "Not a chance Castle."

Playpens and large baby toys were placed in the corner of the room for the time being, while fresh crib sheets and blankets were folded and set in the closet. "We're going to have to design this room and make it more Christopher-friendly." Beckett spoke.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." Castle agreed. "I was wondering if maybe Alexis might want to help us plan it out, it would give her something to feel she was contributing." Kate smiled at him and leaned over,

"That is one of the many reasons I love you Richard Castle, you're a great father." She spoke those words and then leaned in to kiss her husband. They were stocking the changing table with diapers, wipes, powders and creams when they heard the door open and close, followed by an animated, "Hello!" coming from Martha. She was not at home when they'd arrived and left a note that she'd taken the baby on a stroll through the park.

Both Castle and Beckett met her in the living room, Castle stepping closer to take the baby into his arms. "Hello little man." He spoke, "How was your day with grandma?"

"It was wonderful" Martha spoke, "that little boy is a social butterfly. Smiling and squealing at people when they approach."

"I might add", she looked at both Castle and his wife, "that there just might be a flare for the stage in him. It comes early because you're born with it!"

Castle rolled his eyes at his mother and moved to change the baby's diaper, as he walked away she yelled after him, "You can never start too early my dear!"

* * *

Later that evening they lay in their bath tub. After eating a quick dinner, feeding Christopher, burping him, changing him and soothing him to sleep, both were exhausted and desired a hot bath. Beckett still let Castle take the lead. Afterall, he was the more experienced one. She wished that she didn't feel so afraid around the baby. It made her frustrated.

The tub was a tradition of theirs, a safe place for them to come and enjoy being together. It was in that bathtub that Kate really understood how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, no matter how short it may have been. He washed her softly with a loofah that was coated with her favorite cherry body wash.

He loved to hear her delighted moans as he caressed every inch of her skin. Her chest, which had faded into a light scar, _still my superwoman_, he thought fondly to himself as he remembered when he told her that the skin graft reminded him of superman's emblem. Every now and then when they were alone, like they were in that tub he would call her superwoman.

"Alright superwoman," he spoke, "lean forward so I can get your back, love." _Two pet names, he must be really affectionate tonight_, she thought.

She loved his calling her superwoman because it reminded her of the first time she showed him her scar, when she had been so moved by the beauty that he saw there and the love in his eyes.

"Through it all, you've stood by me." She spoke softly, her mind flashing with images of their struggles.

"What? Where did that come from?" He asked her.

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am. You call me superwoman, but many men would have left me. It would have been too much for them."

"Well, if you had been with another man, I would have been waiting in the wings, eager for the chance to take his place." She smiled as he continued to rub circles on her back.

"You are my dear, sweet and patient husband." She softly spoke.

"I'm patient?" He tilted her shoulders, giving her the hint to turn and face him.

"I'm patient Kate?" He asked her with some disbelief in his voice.

"There is a baby in the next room that you agreed to take in, permanently. You could have served me with divorce papers, taken our unborn child, and run Kate." She shook her head at him.

"No Rick, I couldn't. There is one central flaw in your logic." She waited for him to question her.

"What is that?" He said, taking the bait.

"I need you. I just don't function well without you. So if I were to leave I would be denying both of us any shot of happiness." She softly explained to him.

He twisted her back again and pulled her against himself once more.

"I guess that we're just stuck with eachother then, huh?" Rick spoke, caressing his fingers over the part of her stomach that had just recently started to peek out of the water.

"What a shame." Kate replied, a wry smile across her face.

Life was certainly unexpected, but they were in it together.

* * *

**I will be out of town, so the story may not get updated until early next week. In the next chapter we will see Alexis' reaction, and alone time with Kate, (who is entering her second trimester) and the baby. **

**Thanks for reading **


	6. Chapter 6

**Got one more in, compliments of insomnia :) **

* * *

Kate was entering her 14th week of pregnancy and things were going well. She sighed in relief when she had entered her 12th week because it marked her entrance into the second trimester of her pregnancy. The doctor was very pleased that the baby was continuing to grow and that the most dangerous period for spontaneous abortion was passing. It was still too soon to do any testing, and it would be another two weeks at minimum before they could tell the gender of the child, which usually occurred between 16 and 20 weeks.

Three days after Christopher's arrival Alexis came home. She'd had an exam and had to stay to study for it or she would have come sooner. When she entered the loft she could immediately tell that something was different.

Both her dad and Kate looked exhausted. She also noted that a few baby things were scattered around the living room. _That's strange,_ Alexis thought to herself, _isn't it a little early to be buying toys for the baby? _All members of her family were currently sitting on the couch, as her dad motioned for her to join them.

Alexis sweetie, earlier this week we got some surprising news. Alexis looked from her dad to Kate,

"Oh my God. Is it the baby? Is something wrong with the baby? Are you ok Kate? Did you get some bad news?" the panic was radiating off of the young woman.

"No Alexis." Kate answered, "it's nothing like that." She nodded at Kate, slightly relieved by the detective's reassurances that she and the baby were fine.

"Alexis," her dad started, "Do you remember the flight attendant I dated back when Kate and I weren't talking?" Alexis nodded before speaking,

"Yeah, the air-head. Although I don't know if you'd consider that dating dad, you saw her for like 3 days." Alexis smiled and rolled her eyes at her dad, but all three faces continued to look back at her seriously. The smile fell from her face as she listened.

"Sweetie, she was killed in the commercial plane crash that's been all over the news." He informed her.

"Dad that's terrible." She responded. Castle simply nodded his agreement.

"The thing is Alexis, when we were together we…I mean she…"

"Just say it dad." Alexis pressed him.

"She became pregnant." Alexis' face drained of all color.

"Oh my gosh, was the baby on the plane?" She asked.

"No, he wasn't." He assured her.

"She never told me that she was pregnant, and she went back home, where she had a husband-who she also never mentioned." Alexis raised her eyebrows.

"She convinced her husband that the child was his, but the secret came out and he left her and the child." Alexis was catching on to where the conversation was heading quickly. She didn't speak.

"When Jacinda died her living will was read, and she named me as the child's father Alexis." She didn't change her expression.

"Alexis we had a paternity test and the child is mine." Alexis looked from her dad to her grandma, as if trying to determine whether or not this was a joke. When she was met with the somber face of the older woman she took the news to be true. Finally, she turned to Kate, feeling like she needed to gauge her reaction before forming her own.

She didn't know why she felt that way, but imagined it had something to do with how close the two had grown over the years. Kate was as close to a mother as Alexis had. When she looked at her she found that the woman was staring back at her, sympathy in her eyes and peace on her face.

It was as if Kate were whispering _everything's going to be alright sweetie_, into Alexis' ear. The red-head finally noticed that Kate was clasping her dad's hand tightly, their fingers laced together as if to say_, I'm in this too and will not be going anywhere_.

The first reaction she gave was a smile to Kate. Then she turned to her dad and began asking questions.

"How old is he?" She was told he was nearly 6 and a half months old.

"Where is he now?" came her next question. When they told her that the spare room was being converted into a bedroom for the boy she jumped to her feet and ran to the room.

They sat on the couch and waited patiently and quietly. At one point he moved to get up, but Kate kept him in place. She leaned in and whispered, "give her a second to get used to the idea Rick." He nodded and continued to wait, his nerves wreaking havoc on the rest of his body.

Finally, Alexis came out of the spare room. Rick looked to her face and saw that she was crying. His heart broke as it fell with disappointment. He hoped and prayed that Alexis would be able to accept her little brother. He walked softly to her and pulled her into a hug, "baby this doesn't change how I feel about you and it won't change how I feel about the little one growing inside of Kate right now."

She simply nodded before pulling out of the hug with a big smile on her face. "Dad, he's perfect. He's so tiny and so cute. I don't know how I can possibly love someone that I just met so much, but I do dad! It's amazing. He has your eyes and those curls are just adorable. "

He let out a laugh of relief, as both Martha and Kate smiled. He pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head. "You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that Alexis." He spoke, a tear running down his own cheek.

Kate was happy, but once more felt a twinge of fear in her heart. The baby inside her was growing, but they didn't know if it was healthy. Additionally, Kate couldn't get over the feeling of anxiety she got when around Christopher. She was always afraid that she was going to hurt the child, treating him like he was a breakable piece of china. She was also afraid that once she messed up, she would be such a disappointment to Rick, that her lack of maternal skills would have him regretting his decision to start a family with her.

Her eyes watered at the thought, but everyone interpreted her reaction to be related to Alexis and her dad. She faked a smile and got herself up to get some water. Suddenly, Martha was behind her in the kitchen.

"I don't know what's been wrong Kate, but you've been different, almost unsure since the baby entered this house." She spoke in a low voice.

"I'm fine Martha, just not feeling-" Her attempt at an excuse was cut short by Martha's interjection.

"I don't buy it Kate, I know you better than that. Something is wrong. I wish you would share it with me." Kate eyed her, unsure about what to do next. Watching the detective contemplate prompted Martha to keep speaking.

"Kate, when you married my son you became my daughter-in-law, I considered you to be like a daughter before, but now it's official. So Kate, please let me in. What's going on?" Martha urged her to open up.

She looked at her a moment longer and contemplated, she then decided to speak. "Having Christopher here has just made me aware of how inept I am at the whole mothering thing."

"Kate…" Martha admonished her, wanting her to be easier on herself.

"No Martha, we've got a 6 month old and I'm pregnant. That will be two infants, one of which may not be healthy," as she spoke the latter part of her sentence her hands moved to her belly. She continued.

"How will I be a good mother to two babies if I can't be a mother to one?" She stared down at her own feet.

"Katherine Beckett-Castle. You listen to me now. You are not a bad mother. You are a new and inexperienced mother. Even if you'd given birth to that boy," she motioned her hand in the direction of Christopher's room as she continued to speak, "even if you were his biological mother, there would always have been an adjustment period." Kate simply looked at her.

"Kate, I'm going to share a little known secret about motherhood. It does not come naturally, you have to learn how to do it. None of us just know what to do after we have children. There is no magic moment when all wisdom is imparted upon you because you've given birth." She then took Kate's hands in her own.

"Kate, when I had Richard, I convinced the hospital to let me stay a whole week longer than necessary. I didn't stay because I needed to physically. I stayed because I was terrified to be left alone with this little…person. I had no idea what I was doing." Kate's eyes widened, "Really?" she spoke.

"Really", Martha confirmed. "Then your hormones go wild and you feel overwhelmed and sleep deprived and depressed…"

"Wow, I'm looking forward to giving birth more and more now." Kate sarcastically spoke.

"Kate, I am not telling you this to scare you, I'm telling you this because what you are feeling is completely normal. Nobody talks about when children are first born, those first few months. People tell us that we should feel like they are the happiest moments in our lives and we should be head over heels in love with our babies. So, when women feel insecure, scared, overwhelmed or frustrated, they think that they are abnormal. They think that something must be wrong with them, when there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of."

A tear slipped down Kate's cheek, Martha's words really tapped into the helplessness she'd been feeling. "Then what do I do?" She asked.

"You spend time with Christopher. You give yourself time to become comfortable with him. You go easy on yourself." Martha told her.

"There is only one question for you Kate." Martha continued.

"What?"

"When you get passed all of your self-doubt, all of your fears, how do you feel when you look at Christopher?"

Kate swallowed and let herself just concentrate on her feelings for the boy. How did she feel about him?

"I feel affectionate, tender; he's so cute and so very sweet. He's such a mild-mannered baby. He can bring a smile to my face so quickly. I love to watch you all interact with him, you look like a family."

Martha interjected, "we are a family, all of us Kate." She nodded and smiled, focusing once again on how she truly felt about the boy.

"I want to protect him and keep him safe. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I love that I can see so much of Rick in him." She paused and then continued with some hesitation in her voice.

"But when I look at him I feel scared. Terrified. What if I hurt him? He's Castle's child, if I hurt him I would never be forgiven. I'd never forgive myself." Martha smiled at her admission and responded to her.

"So let me get this straight, when you look at Christopher you feel affection, tenderness, protectiveness and a lot of fear?" Kate nodded at Martha, affirming her assessment of the situation.

"So, in other words, you feel just like every other new mother on the planet feels." She smiled at her then, squeezing Kate's hands.

"The question Kate, is do you want to move past the fear to let the other emotions in? Do you want to be the boy's mother?"

"Yes, very much. When I married Rick I signed up for the long haul. We share everything, this boy is going to be part of our family and I want to raise him here, with Castle. I want to keep him safe and happy. He deserves to have two parents."

Martha smiled, "Then give yourself permission to do that Kate, ease into it. These things don't happen overnight."

Kate nodded at her, "ok. I'll try to be more patient with myself."

"Good." Martha spoke, "And for the love of God, talk to my son. Let him know how you're feeling. He's done this before and I guarantee that he could identify with all of the emotions you're dealing with. It would be good for him to know what you're thinking too. He worries about you, you know."

She smiled at Martha as she was pulled into a hug, "I will. Thank you." She then kissed Kate's cheek, speaking one more time, "Because I know you don't get to hear this, and I know that she'd want you to know every day of your life; Kate, you are a mother's dream come true."

With that Kate smiled, the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. With a shaky voice she answered, "Thank you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! Updating again, will try to update regularly but have gotten busy busy. Happy Monday and please review :) **

* * *

By 19 weeks there was no hiding the fact that Kate Beckett-Castle was with child. Her belly had swollen to the point where she could no longer comfortably sleep in any position other than her back, and she was running out of clothing that fit. The perfect solution, according to Alexis, was a girl's shopping trip. So, that Saturday, Kate, Alexis, Lanie and Martha all ventured to the best maternity shops in town, with Christopher in tow.

Alexis insisted on carrying the child, alternating between holding him in her arms and pushing him in his stroller. The red-head found it very amusing when people would eye her, somewhat judgmentally, as they assumed that the boy was Alexis' child. Kate smiled at them both, feeling a strong sense of pride and affection as she absent-mindedly caressed her baby bump.

She felt fortunate that Alexis was with her, as she swayed the vote in favor of 'best' meaning most variety and highest quality, as opposed to Martha's definition, which was most fashionable and expensive. Lanie seemed to take the middle ground, appreciating the rational, but loving the fashion. They went from store to store, buying clothing in a variety of shapes and colors. She picked out several belly bands, so that she had options to continue wearing some of her jeans for the time being.

At their last stop Lanie presented her with a soft pink contraption that had Velcro, padding and long straps. Kate looked at her quizzically, having absolutely no idea what the material was for. Lanie walked up to her and motioned for her to turn around before commanding Kate to raise her hands. She wrapped the material around Kate's lower abdomen and found that the large pad in front lifted her baby bump slightly and the padding on the other side braced and supported her lower back.

"This miracle", Lanie began, "will come in handy in just a few months when you're in your third trimester, it will take the weight off of your lower back. It will be your best friend." She continued to walk down the store aisle, leaving Kate to unstrap the adjustable device from her abdomen.

"Oh, and Kate," Lanie yelled to her, "you might want to pick up a body pillow."

Kate yelled her reply to Lanie, "Castle is my body pillow, I think he'd resent you suggesting he be replaced." As soon as the words were out of Kate's mouth, she heard a very distinct "eeew," coming from somewhere a few aisles down. Kate and Lanie exchanged grins as Kate meekly called "sorry Alexis."

Discussion of her body pillow caused Kate to once again think about how much she'd missed her husband while he'd been traveling. However, the knowledge that he'd be home tomorrow carried her through the day, as it would be her last night sleeping in bed alone. She ached for him, simply for his presence, for the feel of his hand on her back, his kisses, his smell, and his body. She sighed to herself as they continued shopping.

As they made their way towards the checkout aisle they passed the baby clothing, requiring them to stop. Kate immediately made her way to the section for baby boys, identifying an adorable bath robe complete with a hood. It was light blue with fluffy clouds, perfectly matching the design that they'd gone with for the boy's room.

Lanie came up to her and asked, "are you _that_ positive that you're having a boy Kate?" She looked at Lanie, confused for a second before smiling.

"No, I have no idea what I'm having, my little Castle baby won't show his junk." Kate commented, earning a giggle from Alexis and an eye roll from Martha. Kate looked up to her mother-in-law, and deciding to tease her further, reacted to the woman's eye roll,

"oops, sorry Martha, **or** _her_ junk. The baby won't show _her_ junk." The older woman acted resentful, which was easy to see through, as she simply stated,

"the mother of my grandchildren, referring to precious little body parts as _junk_." Martha spoke, softly squeezing Christopher's cheek and directing her words to him apologetically for dramatic effect. He simply babbled at her in response, smacking his small hands on the plastic security table on the stroller and giving a long 'dadadadadada...babababa.'

This earned laughs from the other three women, and a smile from Martha. The fact that Martha had said grandchildren, including Kate as a mother-figure to Alexis and a mother to Christopher was not lost on the detective, who couldn't have wiped the smile from her face if she tried. Kate finally looked back to Lanie to answer her earlier question.

"Lanie this is for Christopher. He'd look so adorable in this." She turned to both Martha and Alexis for their confirmation, meeting their agreeing expressions. She smiled warmly as she thought about the boy sitting before her. There was no denying that Kate had fallen in love with him, and it had only taken a few days alone, which had occurred the previous week, time alone with him had eased her self-doubt and melted her heart.

* * *

**The previous week**

Rick Castle loved to be domestic. For all of the fame and fortune that had been bestowed upon him, he loved nothing more than a relaxing afternoon at home with his family. On this particular afternoon he was struggling with how to break a certain piece of news to his wife.

They'd returned from her 18 week checkup with a good bit of disappointment. They'd both done their research, and Castle had personal experience enough to know that Kate had finally reached the exciting point in her pregnancy where they could identify the sex of their baby.

After the routine examination procedures, such as weighing her and checking her blood pressure, they'd gotten another look at their baby, who was continuing to grow at a seemingly healthy pace. The doctor informed them that Kate was far enough along in the pregnancy that loosing the child before birth seemed less of a possibility, and it was time to consider having genetic tests for defects run for the baby.

Although there was no single medical test that could capture all possible genetic defects, some of the more common ones would be identified through amniocentesis. So, both parents decided to go ahead and schedule an appointment at 20 weeks to have the fluid sample drawn from the baby's amniotic sac.

The last thing they did during her appointment was identify whether the growing child was a male or a female. Unfortunately, on that day the baby had positioned itself in such a way that no anatomy could be identified. Therefore, both parents left with a sense of disappointment. However, their let-down over not knowing what they were having was tempered by the knowledge that Kate would most-likely not lose the baby before it was born.

* * *

As they completed household chores that afternoon they discussed many topics, finally reaching the one Rick was dreading when they entered their bedroom. Kate stood on one side of the bed and Rick on the other and together they stripped the sheets from their bed. Soon, fresh ones replaced them, each spouse taking a corner of the bed and tucking the sheet in before moving to the other corner.

"So, I got a call from Paula today." Rick began to speak.

"Yeah. What's up?" Kate asked as she took the other side of the flat sheet he was shaking.

"She says that I'm needed for a book tour." He tucked the flat sheet under the end of the mattress as Kate did the same on her side.

"Oh?" Kate spoke, not sure she liked where the conversation was going.

"Yeah, it will be just for a week and then I will be back here with you." He spoke as he moved for a pillow case. She could tell by his expression that he was worried about what her reaction would be.

"When would you be going?" She asked him as she shook the pillow into the fresh pillow case. She softened her voice to ease the tension in his brow.

"They want me in Chicago next week." He spoke softly, knowing that Kate would not react well to such a sudden departure.

"Next week!" She exclaimed. "Don't they believe in a little advanced notice?"

"Paula swears that I agreed to this several months ago, but I don't recall having done so." He explained to her before adding, "Look Kate, if it bothers you too much I can choose to not go."

"No," she sighed, "you need to go. It is your job. Think of all you've been willing to put up with when it came to my job. The least I can do is afford you the same courtesy." She smiled at him, although the sadness was still on her face.

He smiled at her as they both placed the pillows on the bed, then moved to pick to dirty sheets off of the floor. "I love you." He told her softly from across their bed.

"I love you too." She answered, walking over to where he stood and placing a kiss on his lips, "it's just a week and then you'll be back."

"If you need anything, any help with Christopher at all, you'll have it." Rick told her.

"I know. Martha will be right here and she is always supportive of me." Rick moved to the hamper and dropped the sheets there before returning to his wife. He took her in his arms, getting as close as possible with her pregnant belly in between them.

"For as much of a headache she can be, my mother has a heart of gold." He spoke.

"We are both lucky to have her." She added as she laid her head on his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart.

He leaned his head into her hair, tilting his chin down and inhaling her scent. "I love the way you smell." He told her.

"I'm a pretty big fan of yours too. It was one of the first things I think I became addicted to when I fell in love with you. I could sense your presence simply by the mix of your cologne, soap and Rick-ness." She emphasized her point by inhaling his scent.

"Rick-ness?" He questioningly teased. Is that a new word?

"Yes." She smiled as she spoke, "it deserved it's own addition to my vocabulary."

He laughed into her and she reveled in the feel of his chest shaking with the movement.

"We should probably eat dinner soon." He changed the subject.

"Yeah. I think baby Castle is hungry." He lifted his head and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Really? The baby is hungry?" He challenged her.

"Yes. As a matter of fact the baby is very hungry. Our child has a craving for Chinese food and I fear that if we don't comply, we may never be shown his or her junk." She explained.

With that he laughed. "Well, I certainly don't want _her _holding out on us."

"I agree, so let's not make _him_ angry." They both smiled, as they'd had a little competition over who would correctly guess the baby's gender. As they did with everything else, they'd set a wager on it.

If he was right and it was a girl, she would owe him what he referred to as a '_favor of a sensual nature,_' to involve her compliance with his desires; which could be redeemed at any time of his liking.

She agreed, but only after they'd added the addendum that if she were extremely pregnant and uncomfortable, he would take a rain check. She wasn't too worried, as she knew he would never make her do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

On the other hand, if Kate was right and it was a boy, Castle would owe her three full-body massages, redeemable at any time of her liking. He readily agreed and had no issue with her having three. Afterall, to give a full-body massage, he'd be able to have his hands all over her. It was a win-win situation for him.

Deep down, they knew it was a win-win situation for the both of them. They also didn't have a strong attachment to ether gender, as long as the baby was healthy, they were happy. Kate did think it would be nice for Christopher to have a little brother to play with, given that they would be so close in age. Rick, on the other hand, loved every minute of raising Alexis, that he was eager to do it again with another little girl.

* * *

Bright and early Monday morning Rick headed out, suitcase in hand and ready for the airport. He'd said goodbye to Alexis the night before, which wasn't dramatic as the girl was going to be busy with projects until Friday night anyway.

They held each other for a minute, leaning into one another and resting forehead to forehead. Instead of wrapping his arms around her, he simply rested both hands on the curve of her abdomen. They whispered softly to eachother, stopping every few moments or so to softly kiss eachother.

Martha Rodgers couldn't hear what they were talking about, but she loved the sight before her. From the moment she met Kate she felt that the woman was special, that she was real and that she had something to offer her son that none of his previous relationships had. There were certainly times where she doubted that they would ever get to where they were, but they did.

She sighed as she watched the sight before her, the way her son softly caressed his wife's unborn child, their child, brought tears to her eyes and a smile to her face. It was such a tender moment between the two, who were clearly very much in love.

As they separated to say goodbye, Rick looked up to his mother to wave to her again. They had already said their farewells, and he'd already kissed the child in her arms goodbye. With one more kiss placed tenderly on Kate's lips he headed out the door.

Kate took a deep breath and turned around, offering to take the child from Martha, who had a class to teach. With a smile the older woman handed Christopher over to Kate, reminding her to call if she had any problems. With that, Martha headed out.

* * *

The next several days put Kate to the test like she never had before. She was accustomed to having Rick or Martha with her, both of whom naturally assumed primary care of Christopher. Although she'd stepped up more and more, putting her anxiousness aside, they were always right there to help her.

On that first day, Martha remained out all afternoon and most of the evening. It left Kate on her own with Christopher, all the decisions for his care and his routine up to her. They spent the morning on the living room floor, Christopher sitting up completely and taking great pleasure in playing peek-a-boo.

She carried him with her to lunch, feeding him carrots and bananas before changing his diaper and placing him in his crib for bed. She leaned in and kissed him tentatively on the forehead, singing him a lullaby before heading out of the room. Before she turned off the light, leaving him with his space lamp, he sat himself up, placed a hand to his mouth and then threw it out towards her.

She laughed to herself happily, as the boy was doing what Alexis had recently taught him. He was blowing her a kiss. Her heart warmed a little and before she thought twice about it she returned to him, kissed him and whispered, "sweet dreams my love." What startled her the most about her words was how natural they felt.

She spent the afternoon cleaning up the living room and the kitchen, finishing the laundry and pulling out leftovers to defrost for dinner. By the time she was finished with the housework, Christopher's cries alerted her that he was awake.

After another diaper change she brought him into the living room and placed him in front of his giant dinosaur toy. He delighted in it because it allowed him to throw plastic balls into it and when they rolled down the toy would produce funny noises. His own babbles would accompany the sounds, as he produced noises that started to sound more like the beginnings of words, "babababababa."

Soon she scooped the boy into her arms and loaded him into his stroller. As they made their way outside and towards the park she picked up a latte for herself and watched as Christopher pointed out a variety of things to her. At one point he pointed to a dog in the park and, looking back to Kate said "Da." She smiled at him and spoke,

"Yes Christopher! Doggy!" He smiled brightly back to her and laughed excitedly, bouncing his arms and legs in the stroller. Soon she led them to the tree that she and Rick liked to sit under, spreading a blanket out and seating them in the shade. She provided him with a sippy cup and his favorite stuffed toy.

After several sips he dropped the cup and shifted himself to his knees, where he proceeded to crawl to the edge of the blanket and touch the grass. Each time he would look back at Kate and giggle, slapping the grass with his hand. She clapped her hands to support his exploration and his smile grew bigger.

She couldn't get over how much he had grown in the last 9 weeks. They'd had him over 2 months now and he was crawling, drinking from a sippy cup, eating some solid foods, babbling word sounds and sitting up without problems. He also had taken to smiling widely at her every time he saw her.

For her part, Kate was taken with his blonde curls and his big blue eyes, a definite trait of his dad and his sister. She loved his eyes. She also loved his little round body and his soft baby cheeks. When he smiled she could see where the boy was cutting a few teeth. Many days it made him uncomfortable, so they always had teething toys around.

That evening she bathed him in his small tub, using care to avoid his eyes as she washed his hair with baby shampoo. Although she'd helped with bathing him before, this was the first night she'd done it completely on her own. After he was clean she placed a soft towel that seemed to swallow him up around his body and gently dried him off.

Once dry and in his pajamas, a soft yellow onesie that was covered with giraffes and elephants, she gave the boy a bottle, burped him and rocked him to sleep. Once he was out, she placed him softly in his crib, checked that the monitor was on and charged, and proceeded to the living room. There she sat, the other monitor near her, and read a book.

When Martha came home she was pleasantly surprised to hear how well the day had gone. Not because she doubted Kate's abilities, but because the woman seemed so much more confidant in her own skills. Martha joined her on the couch and they chatted.

They talked about Martha's stress with her newest project, Shakespeare's _The Tempest_, where the woman complained incessantly about the actresses playing _the Aspects of Ariel_ not getting their lines in sync. Kate told her about their trip to the park and Christopher's goodnight kiss at nap time. They both enjoyed a drink, Kate of warm milk and Martha of wine, before heading to bed.

The next several days passed in much the same way. Kate and Christopher would play in the mornings after breakfast, nap in the afternoon and go to the park. Kate would grab her decaf latte as usual and take him to the tree. She brought a shape box with them and allowed the boy to try and fit each shape in the appropriate hole, congratulating him when he got one.

At night she'd sing him to sleep and he would be awake for her in the morning, sitting up with a wide smile on his face when he saw her. On Thursday afternoon when Christopher woke from his nap he was screaming, his face was red and he had a low-grade fever. Panic filled Kate as she tried to figure out what was wrong with the boy.

She called the pediatrician and got an appointment for the same afternoon. She tried to soothe him, but he continued to cry. She noticed that he was pulling on his left ear, which was very red. She couldn't tell if the redness was from an infection or from his pulling. Regardless, her heart broke for the boy.

In that moment she'd never felt so completely helpless, as she paced the living room and held the wailing child close to her. "Shhhh, little one. I know it hurts. We're going to make it all better soon." The baby whimpered for a minute, but continued to cry. She rubbed his back and placed kisses on his head, inhaling his smell.

"Christopher, it's ok. We're going to make you feel better soon my love…oh, my sweet baby. I know you're hurting." She was struck by how strongly she felt for the boy at the moment, she realized that if she could have taken his pain she would have. That was the moment that Kate-Beckett Castle officially fell in love with Christopher Castle, who for all intents and purposes, was now her son.

* * *

It was nearly 6pm by the time they got back from the pediatrician. Christopher was diagnosed with an ear infection in his left ear, most likely brought on by allergies while outside. Kate felt guilty for having taken him out so much, but the doctor assured her that it wasn't anyone's fault. "Babies get ear infections every day", he told her.

He sent them home with an antibiotic, pain-relieving ear drops, and instructions to bring him back if his fever went over 101. She changed him into his P.J.s, soft blue with cartoon puppies covering it, got him to eat a little, and rocked him to sleep. That night she sang him a song she'd just remembered.

"_Dragon tails and the water is wide. Pirates sail and lost boys fly. _

_Fish bite moonbeams every night, and I love you. _

_Godspeed little man; Sweet dreams little man. _

_Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. _

_Godspeed, Sweet dreams. _

Christopher tried to keep his eyes open, but he was fighting a losing battle as her voice lulled him into a peaceful slumber. His little fists curled tightly, repeatedly squeezing then relaxing, into her shirt while his chin rested on her shoulder. As she softly stroked the curls in his hair, she continued to sing.

_The Rocket Racer's all tuckered out. Super man's in pajamas on the couch. _

_Goodnight moon, will find the mouse; and I love you. _

_Godspeed little man; Sweet dreams little man. _

_Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. _

_Godspeed, Sweet dreams. _

She thought about the little boy in her arms, about all that had transpired that day. She'd realized that she would have done anything to protect him and to take his pain away. His tears made her want to shed her own. She watched his round face as his lips moved in a gentle motion, sucking on the pacifier in his mouth. She leaned her head down and kissed him gently on his forehead, which now felt cooler, finally she sang the last verse of the song.

_God bless mommy and matchbox cars. God bless dad and thanks for the stars. _

_God hears amen wherever we are, and I love you. _

_Godspeed little man, Sweet dreams little man. _

_Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. _

_Godspeed, Godspeed, Godspeed…Sweet dreams." _

By the time she was finished singing the boy was fast asleep. She simply watched him, taking in his long eyelashes and the peaceful expression on his face now that he wasn't in pain. She knew it was time for him to go to bed, but she wasn't quite ready to let him go.

Although there was no rush to do so, Kate was sure of one thing. She had every intention to talk to her husband when he returned about making things official and adopting the boy. She wanted him to have a mother and a father in his life, and she needed to love him and protect him for the rest of her life, just like the unborn child she carried._ Christopher,_ she thought, _my son._

* * *

**The song is called Godspeed, by The Dixie Chicks. I love it and used to sing it to my nephew while putting him to sleep when he was a baby. Very sweet song. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, I am glad people seemed to like the fluffy parts of the story. There will be more, but there will also be difficult times, and they are coming up within the next few chapters. This story was outlined before I began it, so I do know where I'm taking things. :) **

**SPOILER: You know, I expected the finale, but I didn't expect the finale. Props to the writers for staying true to the characters and giving them a relationship to explore in season 5! :) **

* * *

The moment he stepped in the door she was in his arms, with his face cradled in her palms, she planted a firm kiss to his lips and smiled brightly at him.

"I missed you too." He spoke, pleasantly surprised by the eagerness with which his wife greeted him. He decided that no matter how much he hated leaving, if Kate Beckett would greet him like that each time, he'd do it more often. She reached her hands up to pull gently on his ears, bringing his head back to her lips and opening her mouth to his kisses.

"I'm just glad you're home." She spoke.

She meant it, despite having had a wonderful week with Christopher, she missed having Rick with her, especially at night when she went to sleep. She'd grown so accustomed to the warmth of his body against hers, to the secure feeling she felt when she'd wake to find his palm spread flat across her stomach. She was eager to have him in her arms again.

Martha entered the room and spotted her son at the door. "Richard! You're home! How lovely." She spoke as she embraced her son and kissed his cheek.

"How was your trip?" She inquired.

"It was good, lots of face time and got to meet several of my dedicated readers," he spoke, glancing to Kate with a teasing expression, as he knew she was a dedicated reader. She smiled knowingly back at him and squeezed his hand, which was clasped in her own.

He turned back to his mother to continue, "Seeing fans was good, but I'm happy to be home. I've missed my family." He spoke tenderly as he reached his hand over and stroked Kate's stomach, before adding another thought.

"And I can't believe how much you've grown in one week!" His grin was wide as he rubbed her abdomen. She huffed and answered him sarcastically,

"Just what every woman wants to hear from her man after separation." She rolled her eyes at him and continued, "Wow, Kate. You got BIG while I was gone." He laughed, knowing that she wasn't serious.

"No Kate, you didn't get big while I was gone. The baby got big while I was gone. Further, my Jedi powers are telling me that tomorrow we're going to know what we're having." He motioned while pointing to his temple, indicating his special mental powers

She reached over and animatedly tapped the same spot on his head, "well use your Jedi mind trick to tell our child to stop giving me heartburn!" With that he took her into his arms again and kissed her softly. Martha, who was preparing for a night on the town, soon made her exit as Castle and Beckett made their way down the hall to check on Christopher.

It was shortly after 8pm and well past the child's bedtime, so when Rick stepped up to the crib he simply smiled as he beheld his son's sleeping form. "I've missed you." He whispered to the boy, kissing his fingers and placing them lightly on the boy's brow.

"How was he?" He turned to Kate and asked.

"He was wonderful, although late in the week he developed an ear infection. I got him to the pediatrician though and he's been doing fine since." Rick simply looked at his wife for a moment, her hair was pulled back loosely with tendrils framing her face. She was dressed in a night gown that he'd never seen before, one that looked to be designed specifically for maternity purposes.

It was light purple, with lace across the chest and across the bottom, which fell to her calves. There she was, carrying one child and caring for another, being a mother, and she looked beautiful. Before thinking about it he opened his mouth and words slipped out.

"You look like some sort of goddess of fertility." She could hear the longing in his voice and see the desire in his eyes. She smirked at him knowingly, stepped into his space, and slowly ran her fingers down his chest.

"A goddess, huh?" She spoke with a sultry lilt. He simply swallowed and nodded, "uh huh."

She ran her fingers down his arm and laced their fingers together, turning from him and pulling him along with her to their bedroom. There would be more talk of Christopher later, for now she was content to let the sleeping boy rest while she satisfied her appetite for her husband.

They shut and locked their bedroom door, mostly out of habit. As he moved to the bathroom to freshen up and strip down to his boxers, she turned the bed down for them, removed her panties from underneath her gown, and got in. When he stepped back into the room he found her waiting for him at the head of the bed.

He moved quickly, eager to touch her. A week was a long time and the changes in her body were amazing. He wanted to explore every inch, to caress every curve and to scatter kisses across her increasingly prominent baby bump.

She was eager for his touch as well, her hormones driving her crazy and her week without him adding to the urgency she felt within. As he leaned onto the bed, the mattress dipped and she slid slightly closer to where he was. He uncovered her and turned the sheets far enough back that they wouldn't be in the way of his quest to touch every inch of her body.

He placed his hands on her hips and gently pulled, motioning for her to lay flat on her back. She complied. As she slid down the bed, her gown crept further up her thighs and revealed more skin to him. Soon he was kneeling over her, resting his weight on his thighs as he sat just below her hips.

She watched him, never breaking eye contact , as he softly began to caress her skin. First her arms and her collar bone, which prompted him to lean forward and trail kisses across her skin in the wake of his hands. She released a sigh, inhaling his addicting scent and reveling in being touched by him once more.

He slid his hands down the top of her nightgown, causing her to arch her back as he caressed her sensitive breasts. He didn't keep his hands there though, as he was on a mission to remove the piece of material that stood between him and complete access to Kate's body.

He lowered his hands to the bottom of the nightgown and began to push it upwards. When it reached her bottom he looked up at her and caught her eyes. Her expression was peaceful, happy and loving. At his silent urge, she lifted her hips from the bed to allow him to slide the gown further up, revealing her to be completely bare underneath. He paused for a moment, unable to resist kissing the pink flesh at her center, taking a moment to taste her and listen to the appreciative moan that escaped her mouth.

Soon he was back to the task at hand, sliding the gown over her stomach and her breasts. She lifted one last time as he finally removed the garment and tossed it to the floor.

He took her in, amazed at the changes that he could see in just a week's time. Her stomach had grown notably and her breasts were bigger and rounder. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her nipple, before sucking gently as he grazed his teeth across her tissue.

The simple act had her arching off the bed with a loud moan, reacting to the hypersensitivity in her breasts, as well as to the strong emotions that stimulation to that spot caused to course through her body. She needed him, badly. She needed him with her body, but more powerfully with her soul. She needed to be one with him, to get as close to him as humanly possible and then closer.

She was overwhelmed by the emotions that were coursing through her, as he moved his head to her other nipple and repeated the sensation; causing her need to be part of him to grow even stronger. She'd been overwhelmed with physical pleasure in the past, loosing herself to the urges of her body and the sensations he created within it. However, she'd never lost this much control emotionally. She felt the need to surrender herself completely to him, to merge with him, to show him she loved him in every way. She grabbed his hand and began to place kisses on his palm. Her expression conveying her desperation to feel him, she whispered a single word breathlessly "now."

With that he rolled off of her, bringing his body to press against her back. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she lifted and hooked her top leg over his, giving him entrance from his angle. They made love slowly, trying to hold out against their building pleasure for as long as possible. At the feel of him inside of her, as well as the sensation of his palm, which had moved to cup her breast, she nearly cried out. Tears filled her eyes as she longed to feel him deeper within her, to feel him surround her completely.

She knew completely well that a great deal of her reaction was related to hormones, that his touches were triggering her body to release even more of the substances, but she couldn't bring herself to care about the cause of her feelings. She loved him and no chemical reaction within her body could ever explain that away. Soon they were no longer able to hold out, desperate to fall off the edge together, he reached around her he stroked her just where she needed it. Soon they both exploded, their cries mingling as they both fell apart.

* * *

Monday morning of Kate's 20th week was a big event. Not only did it mark that she was half way through her pregnancy, but it was also the day she'd been scheduled to have her amniocentesis. It was a test that she was not looking forward to at all. She wasn't comfortable with the thought of a giant needle in her stomach; even after all the cancer treatments.

More importantly, she wasn't comfortable with a needle being so close to the baby. She understood that in order for them to perform the test, they needed a sample of the fluid that the baby was growing in. She still wasn't happy about it at all.

As if reading her thoughts, Rick's hand found hers and their fingers laced together. He softly spoke, "It will be over before you know it and everything will be just fine." She smiled at him, but it didn't go to her eyes, as there was little that he could say to ease her worry. Instead, he tried to re-direct her a bit.

"Just think Kate, when we come home today we'll know if we're going to have a boy or a girl." She did give him a smile at that, as she softly spoke "I can't wait."

He teasingly threatened the baby as they made their way out the door, "Better get your junk out baby, cause we're looking." They both laughed as they entered the elevator together.

* * *

When they arrived the doctor requested that more blood be drawn, although they'd just checked her levels two weeks ago. She thought it a little odd, but knew it was customary to continuously monitor, especially in high-risk pregnancies such as her own.

Her blood pressure remained low and she was gaining a healthy amount of weight, which pleased the doctor. As soon as she was changed into a hospital gown a tech that she'd never met laid her on the table and placed the familiar gel across her lower abdomen. Soon they found the baby, and heard the steady heartbeat. The tech, whose name was Laura, looked up to Kate and explained to her how the test would be done.

"Ok Kate, we will have the ultrasound on the whole time so that we can see where your baby is and where the best place to draw fluid from the sac will be." Kate nodded at the words, and the technician continued.

"With the guidance of the machine, it should only take one attempt to collect the sample we need." At this point Castle squeezed Kate's hand, as he asked a question of his own,

"What exactly will you be looking for?"

"Well, the amniotic fluid can tell us all sorts of things. It can tell us whether or not she has trisomy 21, or down syndrome. It will also indicate whether or not she appears to have any neural tube defects. There are many other things that the test searches for, but those are the big ones." Beckett nodded at the woman in understanding while Castle stared at the technician for a moment, shock on his face.

"What is it Rick?" Kate asked, both she and the technician looking at him.

"She." He spoke, turning to Kate and then to address the tech, "you said, _she_. They are going to take fluid from _her_, to be sure _she_ is healthy." Kate raised her eyebrows and turned to look at Laura as well.

She spoke softly, "Are you saying that we're having a girl?" A look of panic crossed Laura's face for a moment, as the realization that she'd just identified their baby's gender on the screen struck her.

"I'm so sorry. I thought you knew. I saw the note in your chart indicating that you came in two weeks ago to find out the gender of the baby and I just assumed. Please, talk to the doctor. I can't officially tell you that anyhow."

Both parents smiled at her, trying to calm her down. "It's ok Laura," Rick spoke. "We did try to find out last time, but she was holding out on us so we couldn't tell." Kate smiled and added, "you didn't tell us anything we didn't want to know and we'll have the doctor confirm it, I promise." She looked relieved and removed the wand from Kate's stomach.

At that moment the door opened and their doctor entered, holding several medical supplies, including a large sterile needle, in her hand. Before she removed any of the instruments from their packaging she washed her hands and placed her gloves on.

"Hello Kate, Rick." She smiled warmly to both of them. Laura then spoke up, "I thought they were able to see the gender of the baby last time, so when I found her I just assumed…"

The doctor looked at her with an amused expression on her face before speaking, "let's have a look than, shall we?" The room fell silent as more of the gel was placed on her stomach and the heartbeat once again filled the room.

"Ok. We're looking good and we are looking like a_ she. _I agree with Laura, your baby appears to be a girl." She smiled as she watched the parents smile and kiss, obviously overjoyed to learn this news. She also heard him giggle about something, and witnessed her playfully slap him in return. When he noticed the doctor's mild look of confusion, Castle spoke up.

"We had a bet, and I won." He gloated while Kate rolled her eyes, obviously not truly upset. Afterall, with Christopher at home she would soon be a mother to a boy and a girl. She was ecstatic, even if Castle was gloating.

"Ok." The doctor spoke. "Now for the uncomfortable part." She pulled the needle from it's packaging and set it town with the other sterile objects, and with Laura holding the ultrasound transductor in place, she spoke.

"Ok. You're going to feel a slight pinch from the numbing medication first. Then you will feel a lot of pressure. Are you ready?" The doctor asked.

Kate nodded and squeezed her eyes shut as Castle held a firm grip to her hand. She felt the pinch, which wasn't too bad. Soon after she felt the pressure too, which was bad. She didn't like the feeling at all and wanted it to be over quickly.

"Ok. Kate. Take a breath, you're almost done." Then she felt a release of pressure and the doctor finally spoke, "alright. You're done, good job Kate." She nodded, feeling a bit sore and crampy in her stomach. She was allowed to get dressed and told to take it easy. The results would be in within the next 7 to 12 days and she would be called if there were any problems.

Kate nodded and with her husband's support, she slowly left the clinic and they headed home.

Placing thoughts of the tests out of their heads, they simply brain stormed all of the ways they could tell their family and friends what they were having. It was going to be a fun week for them.

* * *

**A/N: It's a girl! I'm sure many of you figured it would be. As I said before, the next chapters are going to have a bit more angst, as the seas get a bit rougher for the expectant couple. So be prepared for that. **

**Someone asked about Kate's friends and father's reactions to Christopher. That is going to be featured in the next chapter as well. As they'll have a bit of fun breaking the news that it's a girl to everyone, Christopher will be very much a part of their interactions. **


	9. Chapter 9

After a week of anxiously waiting and planning, Saturday had finally arrived. The only other person who knew that the baby was a girl was Martha, who was helping them decorate for the baby shower she was throwing for her daughter-in-law.

After some consideration, they'd decided that everyone would be invited to spend the afternoon and the evening at home with them in the Hamptons. This offered them the perfect backdrop of a crisp fall afternoon at the beach, as it was still quite comfortable despite being mid-October in New York. Although swimming wasn't on the agenda, the first part of the shower would be held outdoors.

They decorated the inside of the home with pink and white balloons, fresh pink and white roses, complete with baby's breath, and signs that read, "It's a Girl!" A variety of dessert refreshments were set about, on the table, as well as a fountain that produced a light pink liquid. Martha had even seen to stocking the home with white and pink porcelain cups, bowls and plates. They were exquisite.

As Kate watched Martha work her magic over the living room of their beautiful home, she carried Christopher in her arms. He was dressed for the occasion as well, wearing a collared shirt complete with a deep brown and light blue vest, a pair of khaki pants, socks and tiny brown sneakers. On his head was an adorable light blue baseball cap, lined with brown to match the vest he was wearing.

His eyes lit up at the sight of the balloons as he tried to reach for one. Kate wasn't too eager to let him get his hands on one though, as she was afraid that it's popping might traumatize him. Instead she took him to the backyard, where Rick had a soft blanket laid out. In fact, there were several blanket's laid about, each pinned to the ground with a small stake for stability against the wind.

There were also tables lined up, complete with chairs scattered about for those who didn't want to sit on the blankets. Rick Castle had spent the morning preparing a picnic, complete with an assortment of finger foods, for their closest friends and family. A stereo had even been placed outside to provide soft background music.

The one thing that Kate noted above all else was that all doors and windows to the inside were completely blocked off. Nobody was able to see indoors. Additionally, a privacy screen had been erected in the entryway to prevent anyone from rounding the corner and peering into the rest of the house should their guests need to use the bathroom.

Further, she noticed that for all the decorations inside and outside, there was absolutely nothing pink outdoors. Nothing had been provided outdoors to indicate the sex of their child. In fact, they'd informed their loved ones that the baby continued to be stubborn and would not reveal its gender.

With their fib accepted by friends and family, they were able to set up the surprise they'd prepared. Kate smiled to herself, cradling Christopher in her arms and kissing his cheek, as she thought about how exciting it would be to reveal their secret.

She was pulled from her thoughts as the first car arrived. Ryan and Jenny stepped out, carrying a large wrapped box along with their overnight bags. Martha gracefully accepted the gift and directed them to leave the bags on the porch and head to the back.

The next to arrive was Jim Beckett, who embraced his daughter warmly and felt her swollen belly. He then directed his attention to the boy in her arms, taking him from her immediately. From the moment Jim was introduced to Christopher he was smitten. He was over the moon that he would have a grandson to spoil and that he wouldn't have to wait.

He didn't wait ether. Several of the boy's outfits and toys were compliments of grandpa. Christopher also became a required participant in their routine Saturday breakfasts, as Jim enjoyed the quality time with both his daughter and her new child. He couldn't have been prouder that she'd stepped up to the role so willingly.

Soon Esposito and Lanie joined as well, also leaving their bags on the porch and heading to the back yard. Gates and her husband were next to arrive, handing their gifts to Martha and making themselves comfortable with the others in the backyard. Finally, Alexis arrived, who was led to the bathroom by her grandmother and threatened to within an inch of her life to not venture further.

When she joined the rest of the group in the back Martha came outside as well. Being the hostess as always, she greeted everyone and directed them to join her around the center table. There rested a cake, a beautiful three tiered cake that was decorated with alternating yellow and light green ribbon. On the top of the cake was a Stork, carrying a yellow bundle in its beak, tiny baby head and legs sticking out either side of the bundle. Across the bottom was a ribbon that read, "Special Delivery."

The Cake was impressive, and everyone seemed to enjoy the appearance it. Castle took his wife's hand in his own and pulled her closer to him. Once she was next to him he placed his arm around her and got everyone's attention.

"We have a confession to make." He spoke to them, waiting for all of their suspicious eyes to fall on the pair of them.

"We may have found out what we are going to have at the doctor's appointment earlier this week afterall." Kate added, smiling as she made her own confession.

Eyebrows rose, as everyone simply glared at them, not seriously angry, but in disbelief that Castle had been able to keep the knowledge to himself. He spoke again then, "We wanted everyone to be here together when we told you what we were having."

"So," Ryan began, "What is it?"

"Alexis?" Kate turned to the girl, "you are going to be the big sister to this baby, as you are to that one." She motioned to Christopher, who still resided in her father's arms.

"We thought it only right that you do the honors." She handed the girl a knife.

"The cake batter has been dyed the color that corresponds with the gender of our baby." Castle explained. "Alexis, why don't you cut the cake and let everyone know who will be added to our family?" He softly requested of his daughter.

She smiled brightly, all hurt of not being told before everyone else wiped away by having the honor of revealing the secret. As she cut into the cake she bent the knife slightly and gasped when she saw the pink crumbs on the knife. She then screamed out in excitement, turning to both her dad and Kate.

"Really?" She asked, the knife still embedded within the cake so that nobody else could see the color. They nodded to her, Castle rubbing circles over where his infant daughter was growing inside his wife.

Alexis then dug further into the cake, cutting a slice and holding it for everyone to see. Claps and congratulations could be heard as everyone reacted to the news. With that, they were invited inside to enjoy the baby shower and reception.

* * *

Later that afternoon both Rick and Kate invited Gates and her husband to go on a walk with them. As the two couples strolled down the beach they discussed their own children, two daughters who were now grown and starting families of their own. Castle and Beckett listened as they wove funny tales about the catastrophes that their daughters would get themselves into when they were little.

"I miss little babies." Gates wistfully spoke, more to herself than to anyone else in particular. She turned to the younger couple and gave them a warning,

"You treasure these little ones because they grow up so incredibly fast."

Rick replied with a smile, "Don't I know it." He spoke while thinking of the red-headed college student currently watching after Christopher.

Kate decided to speak up then, bringing the conversation to their purpose for asking them to go on a walk with them.

"Well, Castle and I have been talking about after the baby comes, about raising Christopher and our daughter." Gates and her husband nodded at them as they continued to walk down the shore.

"Given the line of work I'm involved in, that we're now both involved in, we think it is necessary to name God parents for both of the children. Afterall, had Christopher not had his biological mother's will to protect him, who knows where he would be." Kate shuttered to think of anyone else raising the boy, who was her son now.

"Yeah, we thought it was critical too, especially because I was in the field when our children were growing up." Gates spoke.

"Exactly," Beckett agreed.

"We would really like the God parents to not be in such a dangerous position day in and out, and given that you are both in administrative positions now…" Kate spoke, looking to her husband for support.

He took her hand in his own and continued for her. "We would like to ask you both to be the God Parents."

Gates smiled widely, tears building in her eyes. She looked to her husband and they smiled warmly at eachother. Obviously in agreement, they nodded.

"Of course we would." Was the answer, spoken by both of them at the same time. Kate hugged her mentor gratefully and comforted with the knowledge that their family would always be taken care of.

* * *

Through the following week, Kate's 21st, she and Rick fell easily into a routine. She would go to work, where she was on desk duty, and help her team out with their current case load. As she stared at the murder board that Friday morning, she was hit with another flutter. They'd been coming off and on over the past week and she wasn't sure what it was. Assuming that it was gas pains, she ignored the sensations in the past.

Just as the boys approached, Gates behind them for an update on the case, she felt the flutter again. Although this time it was forceful. She gasped as she laid her hand on the spot where she felt it and looked down at her stomach.

"Everything alright Beckett?" Esposito asked. Ryan wore a similar look of concern but Gates only smiled.

"Is this the first time you've felt her kick?" She knowingly asked Kate.

The reality of the situation dawned on her as she broke into a grin and nodded affirmatively. "I've been feeling strange flutters for a little while now, but didn't think anything of it. It didn't occur to me that the baby was kicking the whole time." Gates grin grew even wider,

"Yeah, the bigger she gets the more she'll feel like a ninja." The older woman commented.

At the smirks on the boys faces Kate simply stated, "Do NOT mention ninjas and our daughter in the same sentence when Castle's around! Do you understand me?

"Loud and clear" Ryan stated, with a wicked expression on his face.

She glared at them both to assert dominance and intimidate them, but even as she tried she was distracted again by another series of kicks. She grabbed the hand of the nearest person, who was Esposito and placed it on her stomach.

"Do you feel that?" she asked. He pulled his hand back quickly, looking mildly freaked out by the fact that her stomach just kicked him.

Moments later his phone rang, which he answered swiftly. "Yo. We got a body in Central Park."

He and Ryan began to walk away, as Gates reminded them, "update me when you know something." The nodded to their boss before turning to Beckett, and Ryan called "you coming?" There was no danger in going to the scene since CSU was already there, so she followed them to the elevator. Before she made her way out Gates yelled to her, "Crime scenes are ok for now Beckett, but remember-No takedowns! You're technically on desk duty, even if you haven't filed your paperwork yet!" She nodded and hurried to catch up with the boys.

* * *

They stood over the body as Lanie provided them with the details she'd gathered from the murder victim, a 39 year old who lived on the Upper East Side. They hadn't even been there 15 minutes when she heard his voice,

"Hey! What did I miss?" Castle asked excitedly.

"Castle, what are you doing here?" She asked, accepting the cup of coffee she knew to be decaf.

"I'm helping solve crimes and bring murderers to justice, Kate. I'm saving New York, taking down one scum bag at a time, "he spoke animatedly while gazing into the distance, as if he were narrating his own superhero story, "With my smokin' hot partner of course." He added with a grin.

"and a baby…" She spoke disapprovingly and motioned to Christopher before continuing, "Castle, you brought our SON to a crime scene?"

"So what, he's not looking!" He motioned to the boy, who has snuggled into a baby carrier that was strapped to his father's chest. He's got no context for it anyway. She rolled her eyes at him.

"How did you know where I was anyway?" She asked.

"I might have mentioned it when he called me." Ryan guiltily spoke up before adding to his defense, "I didn't know he was going to bring the baby though."

She sighed, "OK, BUT NO MORE CRIME SCENES WITH OUR CHILDREN!" She raised her voice forcefully and pointed at him.

He mumbled, knowing that it was going to get him in trouble but not caring, "well, you brought our daughter." He pointed accusingly to Kate's pregnant belly, aiming to keep a serious expression on his face. This earned him a glare from both Kate and Lanie, as the boys tried to stifle their giggles.

As if aware that their conversation was about her, the baby growing inside of Kate decided to make her presence known yet again, with a series of kicks to her mother. The look of surprise on her face and her hand flying to her stomach had Castle to her side in a moment's time.

"What is it?" He asked, the worry evident in his voice.

She simply took his hand and placed it where hers had been, waiting for the baby to kick again. Within seconds she did, causing a gasp from Rick. "She kicked! She's kicking?" He asked, the excitement present in his voice.

At that moment Kate heard it, and she was sure next time she got him alone she was going to murder Kevin Ryan for it. She heard the detective softly singing, "_Everybody was kung-fu fighting…"_

Both partners broke out into a fit of laughter while Castle and Lanie looked at them in confusion. Beckett simply stared them down until they quieted, before changing the subject back to the matter of her husband bringing their infant son to a crime scene.

"Keep bringing our children to crime scenes and you're going to pay for their therapy Rick; and there will be lots of it I'm sure." She spoke.

"It's a good thing we're rich then, right?" She tried to glare at him again, but the façade was becoming more difficult to maintain. Before she completely broke and laughed she swore to herself, and to him that their conversation was not over.

* * *

After finishing up at the scene they took a walk through the park together to get lunch. Holding hands was ok when they were one on one, but no couple things were acceptable at work; according to Kate's rules for maintaining professionalism at the workplace. Still, now that they were starting a family things were going to have to change again.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a ringing on her cell phone. "Hello?" She answered to her OBGYN.

"Hi Kate." The doctor spoke.

"Hi, do you have the results from the amniocentesis?" She asked hurriedly.

"Actually, yes. That is why I am calling. Can I see you and Rick in my office as soon as possible, your results revealed some abnormalities and I would like to discuss them with you." Kate's heart stopped as she reached out to grab Rick's wrist.

"Abnormalities?" She asked, hoping the doctor would elaborate.

"How soon can you be here? I would really like to speak to you both in person and run a few more tests."

With a foreboding feeling, Kate answered, "How soon will you see us?"

* * *

**A/N: Be prepared. If you weren't prepared, go back and read the descriptor of this story. It will be an interesting ride, and I promise not to leaving you hanging :) **


	10. Chapter 10

They sat in the doctor's office, hands clasped together. Soon she would join them again and bring with her whatever piece of news it was that required they come in immediately that afternoon. When they'd arrived several things had happened. First, more blood was drawn from Kate, the nurse informing her that they were checking her blood for a protein.

Soon she was on the examination table and their doctor was examining an ultrasound. The fact that several residents were with her, all looking at the small screen did nothing to calm the nerves that Kate was currently struggling with. Judging from the look on Castle's face, she could tell that her husband was facing the same problem.

The doctors all spoke in uttered phrases, as if they weren't in the room, and it was starting to piss an already terrified Beckett off. She couldn't understand what they were talking about as they sought to gain different angles and pictures of her unborn daughter. Had she known that they would ignore her, she wouldn't have consented to let the student doctors join them.

It didn't make sense because all she heard were things like, "The baby's head looks perfectly normal to me." This was followed by nods of agreement from the other doctors. Next she heard someone mutter, "Get a close up of the cervical vertebra if you can."

"That looks normal too. The neck looks well formed." The doctor requesting a look at the baby's neck spoke.

"Her AFP levels?" Another doctor asked.

"Elevated. Considerably elevated." Their doctor spoke.

They all nodded and stepped back. Their doctor finally looked to them and smiled softly, "Ok. Why don't you get dressed and meet me in my office." She requested.

So there they were, two very concerned parents waiting to hear whatever news they had come to receive. As the door opened, both Castle and Beckett turned to look at the doctor with worry evident on their faces. Their doctor simply looked over the chart in her hands as she made her way to sit at her desk.

"Ok." She began, looking up to them. "I'm sorry to bring you in here so suddenly, but we needed to get a look at your baby to rule some things out." She explained. Kate let out a sigh of relief,

"So there is nothing wrong with our baby?" She spoke, a smile appearing on her face. The doctor didn't smile back though, which quickly wiped the expression from Kate as her heart dropped again.

"Kate, Rick." She began, we found that you've got heightened levels of a specific protein in the amniotic fluid sample we took.

"What does that mean?" Rick asked, squeezing his wife's hand.

"Well," the doctor began. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but this protein level is consistent with a set of very specific neural tube defects." Kate and Rick both went pale, their hands never letting go of one another.

"Wha…What does that mean?" Kate asked for clarification.

"It means that during the early stages of your baby's development something went wrong and caused a problem with your baby's brain." Kate had no words, she simply listened as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Now. When we looked at your ultrasound we saw a normally forming skull, which rules out a great many possibilities, including Anencephaly, which is good." She waited a moment before she continued.

"Your baby's neck is also completely formed, as well as their back, which rules out Spina Bifida."

"So where does that lead us?" Rick asked, his voice breaking.

"We think that we're dealing with what is called a Cephalic disorder." She spoke. At their blank, terrified faces, she continued.

"Because there appears to be no damage to the head or neck, we think we are dealing with a condition called Hydraencephaly."

"Hydra what?" Rick asked, tears streaming down his face. Kate was still pale and asked no questions.

"It is a condition where, for some reason, the frontal lobe and brainstem fully form and function, but the left and right hemispheres are replaced with sacs filled with cerebrospinal fluid." Kate's hand flew to her mouth as the doctor spoke.

"We can't officially diagnose until after you've delivered though Kate. The only way we can be sure is with an MRI when she arrives." She offered, "but you need to be prepared for this."

"Prepare how?" Rick asked. "Our baby is going to be born without most of her brain and you want us to prepare?" He asked incredulously. "How can anyone be prepared for that." He shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed to stop the tears.

"I understand this is difficult." The doctor acknowledged.

"So what happens now?" Kate asked.

"Well, if you choose to carry her to term, she will continue to grow. You will give birth naturally and she will be able to engage in all of the rudimentary behaviors because of her functioning frontal lobe. She will cry, and move, and most likely will be able to eat and drink normally." She looked at both parents again to give them a chance to allow it all to set in.

"You'll notice delays quite soon though. She'll loose her muscle tension, she won't be able to regulate her own body temperature." She continued, "blindness and deafness are also common, and seizures will likely occur too." She paused again before getting her last sentences out.

"Rick. Kate. The majority of children born with Hydraencephalis die before they turn 1. Those who do survive usually die by age 4. Although it has to be your choice, most doctors consider termination of the pregnancy a viable option." She waited for them to absorb the information.

After a few minutes Kate spoke again. "What? You want me to terminate the pregnancy? She doesn't even get a chance?" Her voice was shaking.

"I've survived cancer. I thought I was infertile. She-" Kate motioned to her stomach while tears streamed down her face, "is a miracle and she deserves a chance, especially if you can't be sure that she's got this." Kate stood then, Castle rising with her.

"I think we'll get a second opinion." He spoke as they walked from the room. Their doctor nodded in understanding before she spoke again,

"If you choose to continue with the pregnancy I am happy to help you both to the best of my abilities."

Kate turned and nodded, "Thank you." She spoke.

* * *

That night they lay in bed together, both utterly heartbroken. Kate simply couldn't understand why this was happening. She'd been warned that something could go wrong if there was damage to her egg, but in all the research they'd done after arriving at the loft, they found no connection with chemotherapy. There were vague references of pharmaceutical causes, but her drugs were not listed specifically.

This did not ease their concerns, as little was known about what caused the rare disorder their daughter was suspected of having. Castle found another study that did bring them hope, although the outcome of the study was devastating.

"Kate." He spoke to her while reading from his laptop. "This is a case study of a woman whose daughter was diagnosed with this when she was 18 weeks pregnant. She chose to terminate the pregnancy only to discover after the autopsy that the infant was normal and the tests were wrong." Kate looked at him.

"That is terrible." She said, becoming upset again.

"Yes it is, but Kate, they've made a mistake before, maybe they made one again here." He crawled into bed beside her and took her into his arms. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck and inhaled.

"Do you think that I'm wrong Rick?" He turned to her with a look of confusion on his face.

"Do I think you're wrong about what?" As he questioned her his fingers began to caress small circles into her shoulder blade. She turned her head into his neck, seeking the warmth and the comfort that she needed him to provide.

"Do you think that I'm greedy for refusing to terminate this pregnancy?" She swallowed, waiting for him to answer her. His soothing motions continued as he leaned his head further to hers and placed kisses onto the top of her head.

"No, Kate. I don't." He whispered. "I don't think it is greedy at all to hope for the best." As she nodded into him he could feel the warm moisture from her tears against the skin on his neck. He continued speaking, partially to soothe her and partially to give her a moment to work through her emotions.

"Kate, no matter what happens, this baby is ours. This little girl is a miracle and we made her. I am going to treasure every precious moment we get to have her in our arms, no matter how short that may be."

She shook harder as she completely broke into sobs, allowing him to turn into her and take her fully into his arms as she wept. Even through his own tears he soothed her, whispering "shhhh" into her as he ran his fingers through her hair. He Held her for awhile and she laid there, in their bed, arms wrapped around the child in her stomach as if keeping her there could protect her from the harsh realities of the world.

* * *

Over the next week they did get a second opinion, the same issues arising. The blood tests and amniocentesis indicated a neural tube defect of some sort, whereas the ultrasound looked normal. The final doctor they saw, a middle aged woman named Dr. Perkins, was the first to offer them a bit of hope.

When Rick spoke of the study he'd read, of the misdiagnosis she acknowledged that it may have been a possibility, but also gave them a dose of reality in telling them that the tests were almost never wrong. She did spend some time explaining the nature of the tests that they'd conducted. She also spent some time questioning Kate about her conception.

"Kate, I want you to tell me the details surrounding when you think you conceived." Dr. Perkins spoke.

She thought to herself and turned to look at her husband, who was holding her hand. "Well," she began, I found out right before we got married, which was June 26th. When I went to the doctor for my first appointment I was about 7 weeks. " She began.

"So I guess early May?" She looked up at the doctor, who nodded before speaking again.

"Well, Kate. I see from your medical records that you underwent chemotherapy until the fall of 2012. When did you start ovulating again?"

"Actually, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm pretty sure we got pregnant before we knew I was ovulating." The doctor nodded again and replied, "so your first ovulation resulted in a pregnancy before you knew you were fertile again?"

"I guess so, yeah." Kate confirmed.

"Ok." The doctor spoke. "What I am about to tell you is just a possibility, not something that I can guarantee. Do you understand?"

Both Castle and Beckett nodded at the doctor.

"Most people don't realize this, but due dates are calculated based on when you last ovulated. Because you got pregnant on your first known ovulation, you didn't have a chance to calculate your menstrual cycles after your body became fertile again." Both Castle and Beckett nodded, urging her to continue.

"It is very possible that the estimate you were given during your early appointment was wrong." The doctor spoke, shocking the both of them.

"If this is true then it is possible that you are further along in your pregnancy than anticipated. This could explain why your protein levels were elevated, but your ultrasound was normal." Both of their faces lit up as the weight of her words sank in.

"However, I cannot say that this is the case. You are dealing with a defect that cannot be confirmed until after birth, methods of dating that aren't fool proof, and a unique situation in that we can't predict when you ovulated exactly. Not to mention you are still in a high risk group Kate." She looked at them kindly, but sternly to be sure that they weren't too hopeful.

"I am simply offering a potential alternative explanation, one that we can continue to explore as your baby continues to grow."

"So," Kate asked, "How far along am I? How do we know that?" The doctor nodded and explained to her,

"Dating is an estimate Kate, it can be as much as 2 weeks off in either direction, anything more and the ultrasound would most likely have indicated otherwise." The doctor looked back down to her chart and noted that Kate seemed to be measuring slightly big as of the last few appointments, although nothing out of the realm of normal.

"Each baby grows somewhat differently, at different rates that is. So it is not abnormal to be a bit off with due dates, I like to think about it more as a due month. So, given your measurements I would estimate that you could be as much as 25 weeks instead of 23 weeks now Kate."

"So," Rick spoke, 25 weeks and that would make the baby's due date when? Late February?"

The doctor nodded, "Sometime around then. I usually find that babies rarely come on their due dates anyhow, arriving instead when they're ready to greet the world."

Kate's head spun, the knowledge that the baby may come sooner than they'd expected was a shock, but it was well worth it when they considered the hope that this doctor had just given them.

That was the hope that they were going to have to cling to as they prepared for Kate's third and final trimester, unsure of what life was going to hold for their baby girl.

* * *

**I was going to split this information into two chapters, but decided that it would be nicer to leave you all with some hope for the best until I get the next one finished and uploaded. **


	11. Chapter 11

**It's time to remind everyone that I don't own them. I'm sure you all needed reminding...**

* * *

They decided that it would be best to share their news with their family and friends. Beckett originally wanted to keep it to themselves, but Rick persuaded her to lean on the support of their loved ones. It was one of the many ways she knew he was making her a better person. She loved him for that, even during times like this, when she couldn't find the words to speak.

They were all at the loft, most having an idea that something was wrong based on their interactions with the couple through the week. They called them over on a Sunday afternoon and gathered them in the living room. Kate sat on the love seat with Rick, holding Christopher on her lap.

She found that no matter how dismal things looked, no matter how scared or hopeless she felt, holding onto Christopher's soft little body and nestling her nose into his soft curls always lifted her spirit. That is where she sat that Sunday, tucked into her husband's side with the weight of Christopher's little body resting on her pregnant belly.

When she felt his squeeze on her shoulder she looked up to find everyone seated and looking at them with concern on their faces. Alexis and Martha were there as well, and had been filled in privately. Alexis cried and held to Kate for long enough that the women wound up falling asleep together on the couch the night before.

When Rick found them there he was struck with a memory of a similar time past, where the two had fallen asleep in a hospital bed during one of Kate's many treatments. Tears formed as he thought about how unfair it all seemed, no matter how much hope there was or there wasn't, his wife had been through enough. They both had been through enough together and they deserved the happy ending that constantly seemed to elude them.

When Kate looked up to him on that Sunday afternoon, their friends surrounding them, he could hear her silent plea. She was begging him to bear the burden of telling them this news, to give them the details so that she wouldn't have to risk breaking down. He leaned in and kissed her brow, giving her his affirmation.

"Hey everyone, thanks for coming over." He looked to everyone and they nodded and smiled. Ryan and Jenny were sitting together on the couch opposite of them, while Esposito and Lanie were seated on bar stools that they dragged into the room. Martha and Alexis had done the same with the piano bench. Jim couldn't be there, but she'd already spoken with her dad on the phone.

She'd also taken the lead in telling the God parents, and although Gates was devastated by the possibilities that lay ahead, she was also resolute to focus on the hope that the child would be born healthy.

The group waited for him to continue and he did. "Kate and I wanted you all here because we got some news about the baby." The somber tone of his voice confirmed what they'd all suspected, that something was wrong. The tears in Alexis' eyes hinted at it as well.

"The results from the amniocentesis were abnormal, indicating high levels of a protein that is associated with neural tube defects." He took a deep breath, but continued in his urgency to get it out, "although the ultrasound was normal, the doctors have reason to believe our baby may have a condition called hydroencephalis." He looked into their eyes, his own filled with pain at the thought of his baby being born with such a condition.

"There is a chance," he had to stop to clear his throat and give himself a moment; "there's a chance that the baby's brain will be missing its hemispheres. Her prognosis will most likely be less than a year if it is true."

Jenny looked to them, filled with grief for her friends; whereas both Ryan and Esposito were at a loss for words. Lanie's hand flew to her mouth the moment he muttered the medical term, acknowledging the meaning of such a diagnosis.

"However," Rick continued with determination in his voice, "We sought a second opinion and were told that if the baby's due date was miscalculated, and Kate is further along in the pregnancy, then the levels could be higher than they should be because the gestation is further along." He looked at Lanie, as if seeking her confirmation and the woman nodded.

"So." His hand started to rub his neck as he looked at Kate, who had her head down, her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth pressed against Christopher's head, "there is no way for us to know what will happen until after the baby is born, when they can give her an MRI to get a look inside her brain."

They all nodded silently, letting the shock of the news wash over them. Lanie was the first to speak,

"Whatever you need, anything at all, and we will be here." The group nodded in agreement before Ryan added to her statement, "We're all in this, and we're all here for whatever you need." Kate finally looked up at the group, a watery smile on her face, "Thanks guys." She spoke, squeezing Christopher's sleeping body a little tighter to her.

* * *

The weeks went by slowly, the couple trying to be positive and focusing onto the hope that they would be one of the lucky cases where the tests were wrong. Castle tried to keep her focus on all of the exciting milestones that they were crossing as Kate entered into her third trimester.

"Hey Kate!" He spoke with excitement in his voice, "Did you know our baby has fingerprints now?" She looked up at him from where she was sitting on their bed, waiting for him to make his point.

"That means that if she commits a crime, you'd be able to bust her!" She couldn't help but smile, grateful for his attempts to cheer her up. The decision had been made for Kate to start her leave early. Although she was guaranteed just 3 months off, Gates guaranteed her that her job would be waiting when she returned. Further, she didn't need to worry about supporting herself, a benefit of being married to a millionaire she supposed.

So, they spent their days together, willing the distraction of the pending holidays. The family was together for Thanksgiving, and Kate, in her 28th week, was grateful for their company.

On that morning, while watching the Macy's Day Parade on TV, and after the turkey had been placed in the oven, Rick started to talk about the baby again.

"She can also see and hear now Kate, did you know that?" Kate smiled at him, trying desperately to stay positive. She wanted to think that their baby could actually see light now, and hear them when they talked and sang to her.

Both parents knew that the true joy in Kate's life these days came in the form of the 10 month old baby boy that was now crawling around their living room floor. Steps had been taken to baby-proof the home when his mobility became more apparent. Not only was Christopher crawling, but he was readily making use of furniture and the legs of people seated near him to pull himself up into standing position.

While Rick was working on the bird that they would later consume, with friends and family around them, Kate sat in her special place by the window looking over the city. The view of the floats was perfect, affording her an angle that she couldn't get from the television or from the streets. She was startled when she felt the small hand on her knee.

When she looked down, there he was, the little munchkin had managed to silently crawl out of his father's view and across the living room floor, had made his way around the plants and bookshelves that offered some privacy to the special area, and had led himself right to the only woman he knew to be his mother.

The smile on his face was brighter than the sun, and she could see the pride in his expression over having made the expansive journey on his own. She lifted him and planted kisses on both of his soft cheeks, letting her pleasure and surprise over his presence in her corner be known.

The boy giggled with glee, clapping his hands and shouting "mama."

Joy filled Kate's heart and pushed away the shadows momentarily as she reflected on the boy now occupying her lap, or the part of it he had access to with her ever-growing belly. He laid his head down on her stomach and simply spoke, "bab."

Rick and Kate had spent some time over the past week or so, having become aware that Christopher's meaningless babble and jabbering was starting to actually resemble spoken word, verbalizing the different sounds that they thought he was making.

"Baby, baby; It's a baby Christopher." Kate spoke, running her hands through the boy's hair. She wasn't sure if his saying 'ba' actually meant baby, but in this context she went with it. "That's a baby in mommy's belly." She smiled at him as he looked up at her, obviously reading her face. She knew he was understanding more and more of what they said to him now.

It could be evidenced by the wide, toothy grin that she was rewarded with when she spoke, "I love you my handsome prince." It was also evidenced every time he went to do something, and they told him "no," as he responded by grinning evilly and doing it anyway.

On such occasions Kate would comment, "He's definitely your son Rick." His response would always make her smile,

"I don't know Kate. It's definitely more nurture than nature if you ask me, and that stubborn streak is a learned behavior, straight from you, dear wife." There was no doubt to whomever knew the family that regardless of their unshared biology, there was a special bond between Kate and Christopher.

With is first spoken word, a soft 'mama' when he woke in the night and called for her, he had proven it. He'd been encouraged into it by his father anyhow, who was sure to point to Kate and say 'mama', or to call her 'mama' in the boy's presence. It was a role she took on willingly, having accepted it months ago.

She looked down at her son, caressing his back gently as he rested his head on her belly. She loved their cuddle time, especially during unexpected moments such as this one. It was normal for them to have cuddle time right before bed, when he was winding down; and right after he'd woken up, when he wasn't quite ready to greet the world yet.

She knew that Rick loved the time too, as he'd curl up in bed or on the couch, depending on where they were; and hold onto his wife and child. It was during those times when they felt the most content. Christopher was safe in their arms and Audrey was protected within the warmth of her womb and completely supported by her boy.

Audrey. That is the name they'd chosen for their daughter. She was going to be Audrey Johanna Castle, regardless of how much time they would have with her. Part of their decision to settle on a name much earlier than they'd originally planned was to solidify that she was going to have a chance at life.

Kate was startled when she heard a loud, "Ah-HAH!" She looked to the source of the voice and saw her husband, who was pointing menacingly at Christopher. It was hard to take him seriously, as he was wearing a large apron suited for the holiday that read, "Kiss me: I made the pie."

Kate wasn't the only one who was having trouble taking him seriously, as the boy in her arms started to giggle at his father, seemingly waiting for him to come and unleash the tickle monster upon him. Kate smiled at her two favorite men,

"Did you lose something Rick?" She asked him with her eyebrow arched and her finger pointing down to the laughing infant on her lap.

"I don't know what you're talking about Kate. I was busy at work in the Kitchen, trying to provide for my family, doing my husbandly duties and all. I come to find my son, the only other man in a sea of estrogen that is my life, fraternizing with the enemy!" He spoke, pointing to her accusingly.

"I guess I couldn't help myself, it's those blue eyes. They get me every time." She lovingly spoke to her son, and his father-the source of the blue eyes she loved so much.

"I suppose you're forgiven." He spoke while coming closer and leaning in to place a kiss on her lips, and to blow a raspberry on Christopher's cheek; which earned him another bout of laughter.

* * *

That evening the family was together, they enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere and having the love and support from everyone in the room did both Kate and Rick a world of good. After dinner they gathered around the living room, where the tradition of decorating the Christmas tree and officially welcoming in the holiday season was upheld.

Martha played the piano while Alexis directed Ryan, Esposito, Lanie and Jenny on how to go about properly decorating a tree that would be befitting the name of Castle. Jim kindly offered help clean up, while Gates quickly put the leftovers away.

As for Castle and Beckett, they were busy getting Christopher, who was wiped out after a long day of doting company, bathed and ready for bed. They used their bath tub for the boy, whose miniature bath was placed in the center of their larger tub. It offered them both room to help with the bath and allowed Kate to be more comfortable.

She was getting quite large now that she was in her third trimester, relying on Castle to help make her comfortable in bed, (which was a process unto itself), to fetch her whatever she was craving from the kitchen, and to massage her sore muscles.

She also took to wearing the pink support brace that Lanie had suggested she buy weeks ago. They'd gotten pink because it was the only color they'd had, but it turned out well when they found out that Audrey would actually be a girl, and hence, an Audrey. It helped a great deal, especially when she had to be up and about for long periods of time.

After Christopher was clean and dry, they placed a diaper on him, complete with cream to prevent rashes and powder to absorb moisture. Before they dressed him, both parents engaged in their nightly ritual of each taking one of his feet and blowing kisses on them to see who could make him laugh first.

Castle nearly always won, but usually because of the funny noises he could make to accompany the kisses. Once his was dressed in his long-sleeved, footie-pajamas, complete with moons, stars and planets, they settled him into his crib and kissed him goodnight.

Before they made their way back to the festivities Rick stopped her, He placed both hands on either side of her large belly and simply placed a kiss there. He leaned in to her and whispered to their daughter,

"Now I know you're busy now, finishing your lungs and such things, but I want you to take a moment and listen to me Audrey." He spoke with some authority as Kate simply looked at him with her eyebrows raised, her arms bent back and resting on her hips to offer some more support for her back.

"You might just be the luckiest little girl on the planet. You've got the most amazing, loving, fierce, protective and extraordinary mother that has ever existed. She is so special and amazing Audrey, I just can't wait for you to meet her. So listen to me, you be good, and you be strong so that I can introduce you to her really soon." He planted a kiss to her stomach before raising back to his full height.

He saw his wife then. Tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as she pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around his neck, she whispered,

"You are the best thing in my life Rick, and I love you." They shared a smile and laced their fingers together as they made their way back to the living room, where they continued to find all of the love and the support they needed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello! I'm back to finish the story. Quick note on one comment. The name Jim is commonly short hand for James. My father's name is Jim, his full name is James though. In my artistic license, I've given the same to Jim Beckett. Thanks :) **

* * *

The following week Rick decided to take Kate up to the Hamptons, just the two of them and Christopher. She'd never seen the snow from their home on the coast and he thought it would offer them both a peaceful getaway for a little while.

The same backyard where they'd had their family and friends just a few short months ago was now covered in snow. It wasn't a heavy layer, as December was still early for the heavy snow that they knew they would find come late January and February in New York. This snow was lighter and powdery. It was perfect snow to take Christopher out into.

The boy, who was bundled up thoroughly, joined his parents as they tossed the cold and white powdery substance and threw it into the air. He smiled and lifted his face to the sky as he felt the flakes fall lightly onto his face. Kate and Rick both smiled at eachother, hand in hand, as they watched the boy take in his first experience of having snow fall onto his nose, cheeks and tongue.

He tried to grab some snow in his mitten-covered little hand while refusing to let go of Rick's with his other. At just over 10 and a half months old, Christopher was just getting the hand at how taking steps worked. That was only the case if he had the firm grasp of one of his parents to carry his weight, as he was still not able to take steps on his own.

After he tossed the snow and giggled, Kate grasped his other hand to prevent him from falling over or putting too much weight on the arm that Rick held. The three of them walked together through the snow, Castle and Beckett lifting their arms every now and then to bounce Christopher through the air and softly land back on his feet in the snow.

It was one of his new favorite games, jumping with the help of each parent on each side of him as they swung their arms, both linked with his hands. He would then look to each of their faces and laugh, waiting for them to do it again and give the boy yet another experience of flying.

After their time in the snow, Rick and Kate took Christopher back into the house to remove his now wet clothing and change him into something warm. Between the old snowsuit, and the new warm pajamas, was a warm bath where they warmed him up and played with him in the water.

Rick then fed the boy and placed him in his crib, which had been added to one of the spare rooms in order to guarantee the boy had a safe place to sleep whenever they visited. Kate had given Rick time to change his own clothing while she stripped Christopher and got his bath water ready. Therefore, he knew that when he took the boy to bed Kate would be ridding herself of her clothing too.

Although she'd taken care to strip herself of the wet clothing while Rick held their son in the tub, she was eager to get herself warm too. So instead of simply changing she removed the small bath tub belonging to the baby and prepared the bath water for herself. Stripping her own clothing off, she waited for the tub to fill.

She wanted the water to be much hotter than it was, but had read all of the baby books and knew that she wasn't supposed to exceed a certain temperature if she took baths while pregnant. As she thought about all of the things that she did to protect her baby, she caressed her swollen abdomen and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

She didn't need to turn around to know his presence, as she saw Rick appear behind her as he walked through the door. Knowing that Christopher was in bed, she smiled and simply glanced back down to her body. She didn't even recognize herself anymore. Her body was all curves now, with her breasts much fuller and darker and her belly her most prominent feature by far.

Rick simply stood behind her and took her in. He never got sick of seeing his wife's body. He loved her body covered in clothing back when they were just partners and all he could do was imagine what she looked like. He loved her body when they first became lovers, reveling in the feel of her skin against his own on their first night together, lit by candle light in his loft.

He loved her body when she was scared and insecure, as he reminded her how strong and beautiful she was, and they had to avoid certain positions to keep her from pain. He loved her body when she was weak, not a single hair left on her body after having been ravaged by chemotherapy, and he had to remind them both of the hope for better and brighter times as he loved her tenderly.

Now, he loved her body soft, round and glowing with the child they'd created against all odds. He loved the long hair that now coursed down her back and the way her firm, long fingers caressed the rounded area of her body that harbored one of life's most precious gifts. All of this was conveyed to her as she caught the adoring expression on his face, and she couldn't help but smile at him.

"Sometimes I wish that I could see what you see." She said to his reflection as he wrapped his arms around her and slid his hands along her stomach. He rested his chin in the crook of her neck and met her eyes in the mirror, raising his brow to question her. She clarified her statement.

"You look at me like…well, like that." She motions to the mirror and to his loving gaze, "and all I see is that I'm as big as a house." He shifted his head to the side to kiss the side of her neck. "You're pregnant, and that's sexy."

"I'm the iceberg that could have sank the titanic." She deadpanned.

"Speaking of icebergs, you're cold and the water's warm Kate." He pulled lightly on her shoulders to direct her towards the bathtub, noting that the water was nearly at the right level. She smiled and walked towards the water, stopping and turning to him,

"Well?" She spoke.

"Well what?" He asked, shrugging as he did.

"Well strip!" She demanded in the typical Beckett fashion. He laughed as he pulled his shirt off and stepped out of his pants and boxers.

"I love it when you get all demanding and detective-y when you command me to strip." He teased.

She simply smirked and waited for him to step into the tub. He turned the water off and offered her his hand so she could step in as well. He held to her firmly to assure she wouldn't slip and waited for her to get her footing in the tub before helping her to sit in the center of the tub. He then sat behind her, in his usual place, and pulled her back to him.

Once they were comfortable he picked up a wash cloth and began to rub her familiar cherry scented wash into her skin. She stretched her legs out and rested herself against his stomach and chest as he continued to wash her. She allowed herself to relax into the comfort of his arms as she absent-mindedly pulled water up onto her chilly stomach, which would not submerge now that it was all baby, and let it fall back into the tub.

"Castle?" She broke their contented silence.

"Yeah?" He replied, letting go of the wash cloth and brushing the edges of her hair, which were wet with bath water, from her neck to give his lips more access.

"Do you really think that she could be ok?" Kate asked.

He was silent for a moment, trying to find the words to express himself, as he wasn't sure how to answer her question. He deeply inhaled and held his breath for a moment before letting it out again.

"I don't know Kate." He spoke. "I know that I want to believe that she's going to be ok." He continued to speak, "and I know that if anyone is deserving enough of a miracle, after everything they've been through…," he paused to gather a handle on his emotions, "Then I believe that it's us Kate."

She felt him move his arms, his hands sliding down to where hers were rested on her abdomen. They laced their fingers together and rested them back onto her pregnant belly. With the change in angle, his face was closer to hers and he placed a kiss on her cheek, directly over where the tear had slipped down her face.

"If I could keep her in there I would." Kate spoke, her voice breaking.

"I would keep her safe, warm, supported and protected. Nobody could hurt her and she'd be alive and strong." She leaned her head towards Castle's resting it against his forehead.

"I know Kate. I know."

* * *

They returned from the Hamptons on Christmas Eve, knowing that Alexis would be home and ready to spend the holidays together. They'd enjoyed the weeks they were able to spend in solitude, as if in some protective bubble where they could wait out the remainder of 2013 in peace. However, as Christmas approached they knew they couldn't keep out the world forever. It was time to return to it.

When they walked in the front door, Kate bundled up in her winter jacket for warmth, and Rick carrying Christopher on his hip. Although the boy often objected to it, it was getting much more difficult for Kate to carry him long distances. Her physical state simply made it too cumbersome to manage and the extra weight was exhausting.

They stepped through the door and were immediately greeted by both Martha and Alexis, eager to greet the both of them and remove Christopher from his father's arm. For Alexis, her primary concern was helping Kate out of her jacket to see how much she'd grown in the weeks since Thanksgiving.

It was very interesting for Alexis, who didn't see Kate every day, to watch her progress through the pregnancy. Each time she saw her she swore she'd grown bigger than the last time she'd laid eyes upon her. She also enjoyed the time that they spent together, planning things that they would do with her once the baby arrived.

All of that had changed following their receiving news of the baby's potential birth defect and poor prognosis. Still, both women reveled in the chance to spend quality time together, especially when they would both play with Christopher.

On that evening they all sat around the giant Christmas tree, which was decorated with ornaments that spoke of holiday's past and memories of childhood. Twinkling lights were strung throughout the loft, offering a warm glow as they listened to carols and enjoyed an intimate dinner as a family.

Tomorrow their friends would join them, but for tonight it was just family: Martha, Jim, Alexis, Christopher, Rick and Kate. As was a Castle custom, each person was entitled to opening one present on Christmas eve. When all of the gifts had been passed out, each member of the family had one, except for Rick and Kate. They didn't say anything about it as they watched their loved ones open their presents, but both were confused as to why they'd been left out of the exchange. Were they supposed to exchange with eachother? They wondered about this as they exchanged glances.

Soon Alexis was standing and Martha was joining her. They looked at the couple and smiled, before Alexis spoke.

"While you've been in the Hamptons, we've been busy." She spoke, motioning to herself and the other two adults in the room. Castle and Beckett looked from Alexis to the others in the room and saw the same knowing grins on their face.

"You've done such a wonderful job at creating a home for Christopher, and we know that things are a bit up in the air with Audrey right now," Alexis started to explain, "but we wanted to show you that we are in this too, no matter what." With that she took one of her dad's hands and one of Kate's hands and urged them to stand up.

Soon they were following her towards her room. When they arrived they were shocked at what they'd found. Instead of the teenager's things they were met with new furniture and decorations. Alexis had taken the time to transform her old bedroom into a nursery for Audrey.

"I know that space is an issue now and I didn't want you guys to have to move. So I decided that I would donate my old room." She explained.

"Besides," she smiled while looking at Kate, "I want my baby sister to grow up in the same room I grew up in."

Kate was awe struck. She recognized the soft pink walls that were once Alexis', but where there used to be posters and photographs there were now flowers and butterflies, painted in various shades of pink. White trim aligned the window and the base boards.

In the center of the room was a beautiful crib, soft pink and white lace with tiny flowers on the mattress cover. Matching furniture, including a dresser, organizer, changing table and Rocking chair were also placed about the room. Finally, it was adorned with a variety of stuffed animals, along with a brand new version of the soft monkey that Alexis dearly loved as a child.

Rick was overwhelmed by the sentiment and pulled his daughter into an embrace, while Kate thanked Martha and Jim for their help. She then approached Alexis and wrapped her arms around the young woman. She kissed her cheek tenderly, whispering in her ear, "I love it, and I love you." She couldn't wipe the smile from her face as she took in her baby girl's room.

The next evening, after all guests had headed home and Martha had settled in, Rick, Kate and Alexis sat in the living room by the glow from the fireplace and the Christmas tree. They enjoyed holiday cookies and milk, while Alexis picked through her stocking. The day had been perfect, starting early that morning with a very excited Richard Castle.

At 9am she felt the gentle pressure on her shoulder, that began to shake her awake further. "Kate." Her name was whispered." She smiled to herself, choosing to ignore it and remain in the blissful warmth of their bed. The shaking became more urgent,

"Kate. Merry Christmas Kate, wake up my heart." His words were followed by his warm, wet lips placing open-mouthed kisses on her neck. Finally she acknowledged his presence,

"Hey, watch those kisses mister, unless you intend to back them up." She teased him. Sex wasn't exactly high on their list of activities, as it had simply become too uncomfortable for Kate. Still, their relationship was full of intimacy and affectionate touches. They found other ways to express their love during the later weeks of her pregnancy.

"I certainly will," he began, "but later." She turned her head to smile at him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I'll never get tired of waking to you Rick." She tenderly spoke, waiting for him to respond in kind with a kiss on her lips. After he did, he helped her out of bed and she slid into her robe and slippers. Together they walked into the living room, where Kate saw the abundance of gifts placed under the tree and about the loft. Stockings were overstuffed, one for each member of the family, including Kate's father.

Alexis approached the couple with a giant smile on her face, handing each of them a steaming mug of coffee. She kissed her dad on the cheek first,

"Merry Christmas daddy, I love you." She spoke warmly before turning to Kate, sipping on her mug of decaf happily. "Merry Christmas Kate, I love you too." Kate kissed the girl on the cheek in return and walked over the couch, seating herself next to Martha. On the older woman's lap sat Christopher.

Rick had gotten the boy up and dressed that morning, he was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt with tiny holiday sweater vest and a pair of black pants. His hair, which was losing its curl as he aged, was brushed and styled in such a way that the boy melted the hearts of all who looked upon him.

Once Kate was seated, Christopher crawled to seat himself between the two women, his hands gently squeezing two of his favorite people in the whole world. Kate smiled at Martha, giving her a hug and a Kiss and wishing her a happy holiday, before turning her attention to Christopher. They boy was eager for a hug and a kiss of his own, as he'd patiently awaited her to join them since he'd been up hours ago.

Jim walked from the kitchen and placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead before taking a seat on the other side of Martha as the family started unwrapping gifts. As was custom, Castle played Santa and distributed gifts. Soon after they'd begun it became apparent that Christopher would be better off on the floor where he could receive proper room and assistance with his gifts.

After the gifts were unwrapped, Christopher playing happily with empty boxes and paper while his actual toys sat untouched, the family enjoyed breakfast together. Kate was helped from the couch and assisted with clean-up in the living room before joining her husband in the kitchen.

Her favorite gift was the body pillow from Castle, who admitted that Lanie was of help in picking it out. She laughed out loud when he promised her that he would still be her primary pillow, and that the goose down material was simply a supplement. The morning was a great reminder of how much she loved her husband and her family, and a good distraction from the pain over the unknown outcomes surrounding their own child.

Once their friends arrived they enjoyed a quiet afternoon, complete with classic movies and a fantastic dinner. It was during this time that the impact of Rick's earlier words truly reached home. These people were her support system. They were her family, and she needed them. She vowed as they reached the end of that year that she would do what it took to allow her loved ones to be the support network that she knew they wanted to be. She also knew that they would all need it in the coming months.

* * *

**My wireless router broke, along with the modem. Lovely! At least things are working again :) **


	13. Chapter 13

January 22nd was a cold day in New York, but a warm and happy one inside of the loft. It was the day that Christopher Castle turned 1. They had a small birthday party, complete with family and friends. Castle had even purchased an inflatable ball-pit, where Christopher could play safely and enjoy throwing the small plastic objects to his content.

He crawled into the structure, which was clear and fashioned to look like a space ship. From the inside the family watched him play, snapping pictures and laughing as he continuously picked up a bright colored plastic ball and yelled "ba!" He was getting better and better with language, using a limited vocabulary including, _mama, dada, baba, ba_ and his favorite of all, _no._

When they finally pulled him out of his new sanctuary, they sang him happy birthday and presented him with a large cake. It was a wonder to behold, depicting a rocket sailing through outer space. The stars and planets sparkled and a comet flew across the confection with a long and shiny tail. He was enthralled with the cake and no sooner had it been set in front of him, his hands were in it.

He lifted them and stared at the dark substance that lie beneath the frosted surface. Cameras flashed and videos rolled as he placed a hand in his mouth and discovered with delight the taste of the cake. Soon his hands were buried and quickly brought back to his face, which was now covered. He squealed and laughed as everyone else did the same. It was a wonderful party and they'd worn the boy out.

* * *

That evening Rick helped his wife into bed. She was nearly 36 weeks and her pregnancy was really taking it's toll on her body. She no longer could get around without assistance for many things, including taking baths and getting in and out of bed. Rick delighted in being able to help her in any and all ways, helping her to get as comfortable as possible.

It was a time of conflict for Beckett, who felt two very strong emotions. On one hand, she was desperate for the pregnancy to be over. She needed her body back and she was driven to her limits of being pregnant. She was ready for the baby to come. However, she was also filled with a strong emotion of dread, not wanting the baby to come. Her fear over the baby's health and over what would come next made her want to keep Audrey inside her forever.

She needed help in the evening before bed. For the very pregnant Kate Beckett-Castle, getting comfortable in bed was a long and difficult process. First she would lay down in bed, Rick helping her to turn to her side briefly as she slid the body pillow between her legs and pulled it up to wrap her arms around it and rest her chin on the top. Then Castle would climb into bed behind her, spooning her and allowing her to lie back onto him and take all pressure from her side.

It placed her back against Castle, leaning back, and her stomach somewhat against the body pillow but mostly in the air. It was the only position she could sleep in and it required all three of her pillows, the one under her head, the one against her front and the one on her back, who happened to be Richard Castle.

Once they were settled in, more often than not, a few moments of silence would pass before he heard,

"Castle?"

"Yes love?" He would answer, already knowing what was going to come next.

"I have to go to the bathroom." With that, it would all begin again.

* * *

By 37 weeks the first of the Braxton Hicks contractions started. At first Kate did not recognize them as the false labor that women commonly reported. She was going crazy at the loft and was busying herself by helping Martha prepare dinner while Rick worked on his latest book. As she chopped the vegetables she bet over suddenly, letting out a surprised, "oooh."

She felt her uterus contract and simply waited for it to pass. It didn't hurt too much, and they seemed sporadic, but they continued. Soon Rick was alerted to her condition and his concern prompted a trip to the hospital. Much to Beckett's chagrin, they ventured out into the bitter cold and snowy February winter and made their way to the hospital where they'd planned to deliver.

When they arrived, the doctors saw Kate right away. Once she was hooked up to the monitors they confirmed that because the contractions were sporadic and not rhythmic, and because they weren't painful, she wasn't in actual labor. They also saw no need to induce labor, as she was still early for her due date. At the news, Kate was both relieved and disappointed, again faced with the conflict of wanting to keep the baby in and wanting to not be pregnant anymore.

Despite her being cleared, they were not impressed with the detective's vital signs, as her blood pressure was very high and she'd started retaining water. During other visits to the doctor she'd always had low blood pressure or normal levels at least. Therefore, once they returned home, she was ordered to be on bed-rest until the baby arrived. What started out as annoying, due to her limitations, became unbearable when she couldn't get out of bed. Movie nights were had in bed, dinners were served to her there, and each evening he would help her to the tub to bathe.

Kate struggled to be a good patient, as she wanted to be up and around. She was sick and tired of not being able to do things for herself and she hated feeling feeble more than anything. Her current situation reminded her too much of being sick and she didn't like it at all. Castle was patient with her, allowing her to do as much as was safe and stepping in when necessary. Although not pleased, she did appreciate how sensitive he was being throughout everything.

* * *

Valentines day that year came and went and no romantic date was had. Kate, who remained on bed rest at 39 weeks, simply spent the evening watching sappy movies with Rick. He'd given her chocolate, as well as a beautiful ring with three stones. It matched the beloved bracelet that Martha had once given her, symbolizing the family that she'd belonged to. The major difference here was that the three stones on the ring represented three children, Alexis, Christopher and Audrey.

He'd informed her that Alexis insisted on being included, and had gone as far as to write Kate a heart-felt letter that expressed how much of a mother-figure she'd always been to her. The letter told her that the girl had looked up to Kate long before she and Rick had become romantically involved, and most touching to Kate; the letter told her that she was the closest thing to a mother Alexis would ever know.

The gift was perfect, and became a permanent fixture on Kate's right hand. Of course, until the swelling that took over her fingers and ankles went down, it remained on the chain with her mother's ring.

The day provided a nice distraction for the family, and gave Castle yet another excuse to pamper his wife. He knew that she felt miserable and that she thought she was huge and unattractive, but he still thought she was more beautiful than ever. He liked to reflect on their relationship from time to time, to think about where they'd been and how far they've come. It was difficult to imagine that the woman who was once his partner, unreachable, was now in his bed; ready to deliver their child at any moment.

However, it wasn't Valentine's Day that brought about irrevocable change to the Castle family. That change came the next day; when Castle approached his sleeping wife mid-evening and found that he could not wake her.

* * *

**Eekk!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm actually finished with the story now, so I'll be posting them as they get checked for errors :) **

**Disclaimer: Not mine...**

* * *

It was 8pm on February 15th and Rick Castle was preparing his wife's favorite soup for dinner. She'd come to love the soup back when she was undergoing chemotherapy, as it was one of the few things she could stomach. Luckily, once she was well again she still enjoyed it. It had been awhile since he'd prepared the comfort food for her and decided that she deserved the surprise.

It had been a tough several weeks, and although the baby continued to grow and all signs pointed to a delivery at any moment, Kate's blood pressure had sky-rocketed and they'd struggled to keep it under control. It was always within the upper limits of what was considered safe to remain home.

It was something that Kate was grateful for, as the thought of spending unnecessary time in the hospital made her head spin and her stomach churn. So Rick had doted on his wife, offering her his companionship and entertainment over the weeks that she yearned to be free of the captivity brought on by bed rest.

About 20 minutes before the soup was ready he decided to wake her from her nap and help her to get ready to eat. He knew she would appreciate his having made her favorite meal, and he couldn't wait to see the smile on her face. He grinned to himself as he made his way down the hall, even after all this time, he still would do anything just to see her smile.

He entered their room and crawled across the bed, whispering her name softly. "Kate." He spoke, moving closer to where she was. She nudged her shoulder and called her again when she did not stir,  
"Kate," he spoke again, "dinner's almost ready. It's time to wake up." There was no reply.

"Kate." He said a little more forcefully, "Kate, come on. You've got to wake up. If you don't you won't be able to sleep tonight and then I won't be able to sleep tonight." His wife still did not reply. He finally moved to switch on the light and was met with a sight that made his blood run cold.

There, in their bed, Kate Beckett lay unconscious. Her face was pale, fingers bluish and no matter how he yelled or pleaded, she couldn't be woken. Rick screamed for his mother, who ran down the hall in alarm.

"Call 911. Kate's won't wake up." He yelled to his mother. Tears were in his eyes and panic in his heart as he continued to get some sort of response from her. The only peace that came to him was that he could feel the rise and fall of her chest, it was shallow and labored, but it was there.

He also held his hands to her stomach as he waited for the paramedics to arrive, feeling an intermittent kick that acted as some proof of life. For now, both Kate and Audrey were alive. However, he didn't know how long that would last.

He was directed to stand back when the paramedics arrived, stepping to Kate and loading her onto the stretcher. They fastened an oxygen mask to her face and barraged Castle with an abundance of questions.  
"How long has she been like this?"

"Has she been having seizures?"

"When was the last time she saw her doctor?"

"When was the last time you checked her blood pressure?" Was the final question they asked as the cuff attached to her arm attempted to inflate and gather a reading. However, the machine had no luck, as her systolic blood pressure was not registering. The paleness on her face, the sweating on her body, the erratic heartbeat and the unconsciousness all pointed to one plausible cause of Kate Beckett's current condition. Despite their best efforts to take precaution with bed rest, she'd developed Eclampsia. He wasn't in the room with her, so it was impossible for him to know if she'd had a seizure or not.

Rick held her hand firmly in the ambulance as they rushed her to the hospital, and soon found himself waiting as they wheeled her away. It reminded him of another time long past, a time that he didn't want to be reminded of. It reminded him of a time where he'd nearly lost her. Now he was helpless to wait again, as the fate of the love of his life and their unborn child lay in the balance.

He was soon joined by his daughter and Martha, who had called a sitter for Christopher. Ryan, Jenny, Lanie and Esposito were soon behind them. Finally, Jim Beckett arrived and they all waited in silence for news. The only sound from the room for what seemed like hours was the ticking of the clock, which mercilessly reminded them that there was still no news. He was on the verge of insanity when the doctor finally entered the room.

"Hello Rick." The familiar OBGYN entered the room. "We performed a C-section and mom and baby are both recovering." Rick let out a sigh of relief.

"How is Kate?" He asked.

"She is still unconscious, but her vitals have returned to a normal level. We've got her in recovery, but she'll be moved to a room of her own soon." The family nodded in relief at the doctor.

Rick continued, "and the baby?" He spoke apprehensively. The doctor nodded his head in understanding.

"Rick, why don't you come with me and I will introduce you to your daughter while we discuss what happens next." Rick looked back at the family and they all motioned for him to go. The doctor assured them that they would be informed when Kate was in a room of her own.

"Doctor," he asked again now that they were alone as they walked down the hall. "Doctor, please tell me. Audrey, how is she." He was eager to see Kate, but knew that if his wife were conscious she'd demand he be with their daughter.

"Rick, remember what we discussed about infants born with this disorder? They can appear normal, completely absent of birth defects, and they usually show no signs of disorder immediately." Castle nodded as they rounded a corner and stopped outside of a door. The doctor held up his hand one last time before entering the room and spoke,

"I am saying that Audrey is moving her arms and legs, she's crying and she appears to have a sucking reflex intact. She appears normal and healthy, but that doesn't mean that she is Rick." He nodded somberly at the doctor, waiting to be led in to his daughter.

When they walked into the room the doctor had him stop and wait as he entered the nursery. Soon the man walked back out holding a bundle, wearing a pink hat and swaddled in a pink hospital blanket. He passed the baby to Castle's arms and spoke softly, "7lbs, 8oz and 19 inches."

Tears filled his eyes as he took her in for the first time. Audrey Johanna Castle was perfect. Her skin was pink, her complexion perfect and her head round due to her C-section removal. He caressed her tiny arm and placed his finger in her hand, earning him a reflexive squeeze from his daughter. Her lips moved and she made tiny whimpering sounds.

Her eyes opened as he began to speak and she turned towards his voice, "Hello beautiful girl. It's daddy. I'm so happy to meet you may angel." He softly spoke to her. Tears fell down his face as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "You are perfect Audrey. So perfect, little one." More murmurs sounded from her deep pink lips.

He softly caressed her brow and removed the pink hat, revealing a full head of brown hair. No matter how many times he brushed through to smooth it, the baby girl's hair refused to comply. It was a beautiful unruly mess on the top of her head, resembling the exact shade of hair on her mother's head.

"I can't wait for you to meet your mama precious girl. She is going to fall so deeply in love with you. What a good job she did!" His tears increased as the doctor approached, knowing it was time to give her back so that they could run their diagnostic tests to confirm what the protein markers had told them.

He didn't want to let go of her, he wanted to hold her there and guarantee that she would be safe in his arms. It seemed unfair that he had to give her back already, so soon after meeting her for the very first time. The doctor spoke,

"Rick, the sooner we do this the better it will be for everyone." He nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand while cradling Audrey in his other arm. He looked back to the soft, warm bundle in his arms and kissed her gently.

"What are you going to do?" He asked them.

"We are going to start with a light test." We'll shine a light on her temple. It will be bright enough to enable us to look inside of her skull to take a look at what we see. Rick nodded and replied, "cover her eyes though. So it's not too bright." He looked back to the doctor, "what else?"

"We'll do an MRI, and that will tell us all we need to know." Castle nodded.

"If she has it?" He questioned.

"If she has it we will simply see fluid filled sacs where her brain hemispheres should be. If she's normal, the MRI will show a normal infant brain." He paused and then squeezed Castle's arm,  
We will know soon Rick." Knowing it was time, he handed his daughter over to the doctor and kissed her again.

"Be brave sweetheart. Daddy will see you soon, ok?" His voice broke as he lost contact from the warm body. The doctor smiled at him sadly, understanding how hard this all was for him.

"Rick, if you go to the Nurses' station she can give you the information you need about where Kate's room is. She should be settling in soon." Castle thanked the doctor and, after being assured that their daughter would be wheeled to Kate's room in the maternity ward after the tests, made his way to his wife.

She still wasn't awake, but her vitals were stable and her coloring looked good. She had a private room and their loved ones already started to place balloons and flowers about. They weren't allowed back yet, but nurses saw that their gifts were delivered.

As her husband, Rick was allowed to wait by his wife's side until she regained consciousness. However, before he settled in, he pulled out his phone and saw to it that flowers would be promptly delivered. He knew exactly what he wanted to order too.

After the flowers arrived, he arranged them so that they sat close to her bedside. He wanted her to enjoy their aroma when she awakened. He also unpacked the bag that Martha and Alexis had returned home for, producing toiletries for he and Kate, as well as supplies for the baby.

About 2 hours after letting go of her, he heard a knock on the door and saw the face of a nurse. In her arms was his sweet baby girl. She was handed to him and her wheeled bed was brought into the room and placed by Kate's bed, next to Rick's chair. He studied her and, after determining that she was unharmed, rocked the infant and kissed her face gently.

When he looked up again the doctor was standing there, ready to deliver the news from her tests.


	15. Chapter 15

Beeping. Steady beeping is the first thing she noticed when she started to come around. The fog desperately tried to cling to her brain, as she made her best attempt to make sense of her surroundings.

Lilac. The sweet smell of her favorite flowers was the second thing she'd noticed. Before she'd even opened her eyes she could smell the scent of lilacs around her. It enveloped her and comforted her like an embrace.

Voices. There was muttering around her and she was trying to make sense of what the voices were saying. She turned her head toward the voices and let out a moan, trying to communicate to whomever was nearby.

"Kate?" somebody was calling her name, but she didn't recognize the voice.

"Kate, can you hear me? Open your eyes Kate, open your eyes and take a breath."

_That's an odd request_, Kate thought to herself.

A gloved hand tilted her chin up and she opened her eyes. A doctor was standing by her bedside and was smiling softly at her. "Welcome back." He spoke.

"Did…" Kate tried to speak, a haze of confusion surrounding why she was in her current situation clouded her brain. "Did they get it?"

She looked to the doctor, waiting for him to answer her and update her on the success of her surgery. _I was here to have the cancer removed, right?_ She thought for a moment. _No, that's not right. I don't have cancer anymore. I wasn't in the…why am I in the hospital? _She couldn't wrap her brain around anything.

Her head shot up suddenly as she finally got her bearings, _the baby._

"The baby," she spoke, "is the baby ok? What happened?"

The doctor pressed Kate back to the bed, observing her wince in pain as she tried to move too fast. He spoke to her as he felt her body relax, "Take it easy Kate. You developed eclampsia and had to have an emergency C-section. You're stable now though and you're going to be just fine."

She nodded before asking again, "the baby?"

She heard Castle's voice then, and turned to see him moving towards her. In his arms was a pink bundle and Kate was filled with overwhelming emotion with the knowledge of who she was about to meet. She looked to her husband for confirmation,

"Castle?" She spoke, tears filling her eyes and a look of wonder upon her face.

He nodded his affirmation to her. "Kate." He spoke, "I would like you to meet Audrey." The doctor and a nurse helped Kate to adjust and turned her bed up so that she could take the child into her arms. As he approached he found her ready to hold their daughter.

Tears were in his eyes again, as he placed another kiss on the girl's cheeks and handed her over to her mother. "Audrey weighs 7lbs, 8oz and is 19 inches." He began, pulling himself up onto the bed beside her and wrapping his arm around Kate's shoulders.

He removed the hat from her head again and revealed the girl's hair, causing Kate to laugh with joy. "Audrey is bound to have her mother's hair, famous throughout the city for it's gorgeous nature." Kate ran her fingers through the girl's unruly, soft locks and smiled brightly. Audrey Johanna Castle was the most amazing creature she'd ever beheld.

Castle continued his verbal inventory of their daughter, "her skin is the perfect shade of pink and she's got a good grasp in those perfect little hands of hers. Her button nose is small and beautiful and her rosy lips are simply gorgeous. She's a heartbreaker." He spoke with pride and love.

He leaned his head against Kate's, who in turn, rested hers against his. He turned in and kissed Kate's temples before continuing,

"Her best feature, by far, Kate." He began and waited for his wife to look at him. When she did he continued, "Her best feature is here," He ran his fingers back into her hair and rested them on her head. "This is my favorite feature Kate because it's her brain. It's her perfectly healthy formed brain Kate." He looked to his wife, tears building there as he waited for his words to sink in.

Her eyes widened in disbelief when his meaning sank in. "Do you mean she's?" She began and he nodded.

"The doctor came in about an hour ago. They did an MRI and determined that Audrey is perfectly normal and healthy. Their best guess is that she was further along than they'd guessed and that caused the elevated protein levels." He smiled and they both cried, "Kate, our baby girl is going to be just fine."

They kissed happily as they both looked back down to their sleeping daughter, taking in her perfect feathers and breathing sighs of relief over her healthy state. After everything they'd been through together, nobody could argue that Rick and Kate deserved a miracle, and late in the night on February 15th, they'd gotten one.

Audrey Johanna Castle was a bundle of perfection. Her tiny body nestled against her mother's as, after the assistance of a very kind nurse, she suckled on her breast eagerly for sustenance. Kate couldn't stop looking at her. She was too much to take in, her arms and legs, her soft stomach and the smooth skin on her cheeks. She loved to run her fingers through the girl's hair, and she loved to inhale the unique baby smell that seemed to simply be Audrey.

Jim was overwhelmed when he saw her for the first time, he swore that he could have been looking at Kate as a baby. Especially the baby's hair, as Kate's hair could also never be controlled. Martha and Alexis were immediately smitten as well, taking pictures and holding her tenderly. Christopher was curious about the baby, but was far too young to understand the significance of her presence.

It did Kate a lot of good to see the boy though, as she missed him terribly. Alexis and Martha brought the boy over, walking in to find Castle in bed behind Beckett, holding her against him as he rested his chin on her shoulder and they both watched the sleeping girl in her arms. Christopher soon joined the family on the bed and nestled into the arms of his parents.

Alexis took advantage and captured pictures of the family in the hospital bed, Rick bent to the left and holding onto a laughing Christopher and Kate leaning to the right with Audrey safe and bundled in her arms.

The picture would be framed and featured by Rick's desk for years to come.

* * *

That evening they lay in bed. Audrey was settled in her bed next to them, while Rick and Kate snuggled together. Silence fell upon them for awhile as both parents were lost in their thoughts. Finally, Kate spoke up.

"Rick?" She asked.

"Hmmm." He replied, his face buried into the side of her neck.

"Can I talk to you about Christopher?" She asked him. He pulled back with her question, unsure of where the conversation was going.

"Of course. Is something wrong?" He questioned her.

"No, nothing like that Castle; it's just…" She hesitated for a moment before continuing, "Castle, I wanted to bring this up much sooner, but then things happened with this baby and I got overwhelmed and the time never seemed right." She tried to explain, but Castle interrupted her in his confusion.

"Kate, it's ok, what are you talking about though?"

"Castle, if it is ok with you, I would like to adopt Christopher." She looked him in the eyes and waited for his response.

He smiled widely at her and kissed her forehead. "Of course Kate, I would love that. You are already his mother in action. I would love it if you made it legal." She smiled at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to her.

They were silent again for quite some time, before Kate spoke up again.

"Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking…a lot." She began, running her fingers down his cheek.

"About what?" He asked.

"Well," She started to talk, but was interrupted by the soft whimpers of their daughter. Castle moved across the bed and lifted her from the crib. "I think someone's hungry," he spoke.

Kate nodded and sat up, shifting her arm out of her gown and exposing her right breast. He handed the baby to her and helped to hold her in place as Kate struggled to get their daughter to latch on. When she finally did so, Castle crawled back into bed and Kate continued to speak.

"I was thinking Castle, that I can't imagine leaving Christopher and Audrey." He wasn't sure where she was going, but had a feeling that it had to do with her mother.

"Kate, you're going to be a great mom and you'll grow old and grey with me, and…"

"You don't know that Castle," she interrupted. "You know better than anyone that this job never guarantees that I'll come home at the end of the day Rick."

He simply sighed, unsure of what to say. She was right. Finally he spoke, "Kate, nobody can ask you to choose between a career you love and a family you love. You _can_ have both Kate." He rubbed her shoulder supportively.

"I know I can Castle, but I'm not sure I want both anymore." She looked at him intensely.

"What are you saying Kate? You want to quit the force?" He asked incredulously.

"I'm saying that there may be other ways for me to tap into my need to bring closure; ways that don't put me directly in the line of fire and enable me to come home to my family each night." She spoke.

"Is there any specific way you've been thinking about, Kate?" He questioned.

She was silent for a moment before speaking. "Castle, what would you say if I told you that I was actually thinking that I could go back to school." He raised his eyebrows in shock, "Really?" He questioned, excitement but confusion in his voice.

"Yeah, really." She spoke. "I have a degree in criminology. I could spend the next several months studying to take the LSATs, and…"

"You want to go to Law school Kate?" He waited for her answer.

"I was thinking that I could follow in my mother's footsteps. I could do what I wanted to do before…before everything changed." She looked at her husband, wondering what his reaction actually was.

"Kate I think that it's great. I think you would kill in law school. I can see you now too, working for the state attorney's office. The boy's bust them and you fry them! It's perfect. You still bring truth and justice, and you're not out on the streets." She smiled at his excitement.

"Calm down there, I'm just thinking of preparing for my LSATs. I don't even know if I would get in." She tried to add some reality to the situation.

"Yeah you will, and I just saw it…a new series of books about a kick ass lawyer who solves mysteries and makes scumbags fry…I love it…"

"Let me guess, she'd be smart, sexy, good at her job and a little slutty." Kate deadpanned.

They both giggled and kissed again, content in warmth of each other.

* * *

**I loved writing this chapter. If you read the earlier stories, you most likely picked up on the similarities in the hospital room scene when she awakened. I thought it was a nice full circle thing :)**


	16. Epilogue

She walked down the sidewalk, the melting snow adding dampness to the pavement around her. Kate sighed inwardly to herself, eager to be back in the warmth of the loft after an afternoon out and about. Despite being mid-April, the New York air was still very cool. She longed for a hot bath and the warmth of her husband's arms as she turned the corner and made her way towards the building she called home.

It had been a long day, but a good one. After having a long conversation with Gates she had resigned from the force, pursuing the decision to try for law school. She would remain a consultant, pulled in on special cases where her skill set was needed. She knew that change wasn't going to be easy, especially with two little ones at home under the age of 2.

However, she also knew that Rick had her back and would support her in any way possible. She smiled to herself as she entered her building, waving to the door man as she shook the moisture from her boots and stepped towards the elevator. She was also lucky because she knew she could focus on her studies and internships when the time came. She wouldn't need an outside job to support herself.

Gates was understanding of Beckett's decision, citing her own children as a major factor in her eventual decision to transfer to IA and get off the streets. She'd even gone as far to offer Beckett a letter of recommendation for her law school applications when the time came. The fact that she'd made this major life choice made it all so real. Beckett was filled with excitement.

For her father's part, Jim Beckett was ecstatic to learn of his daughter's decision to resume following in her mother's footsteps. Part of his happiness came from the sentimentality behind it all, but most from the safety that his daughter would have when she was no longer chasing criminals in the dead of night.

She rode up the elevator, feeling like her life was starting anew. For the first time since before Kate was diagnosed with cancer, she felt like her future was wide open. Her cancer was another area of great news for Kate. Shortly after the birth of Audrey, she'd gone to see her oncologist to have her first thorough scan since before she became pregnant.

There was a great deal of anxiety surrounding it because of the sheer amount of time that had passed without being able to glimpse inside of her. They couldn't check her chest wall, her bones or her lungs while she was pregnant. Therefore, a full examination was overdue. Despite the dramatic hormonal changes and bodily stress of carrying a child, as well as the long period of time between scans, Kate was found to be completely cancer-free.

On their way home from the oncologist's office Rick and Kate listened to the radio. As they made their way through the city and back towards their children, a familiar Beatles song came across the stereo. As she listened to the lyrics and the melody of _Here comes the sun_, she smiled to herself. It had been a long time since she'd felt that way, but it really did feel like things were getting a lot brighter for both she and Castle.

* * *

Taking a deep breath and allowing the heat from the building to settle into her cold frame, Kate pushed her key into the door and turned the knob. Stepping inside, she removed her jacket, scarf and gloves and put them away. She walked further into the loft and was greeted with the noises of rapid, tiny feet, scurrying towards her. She saw him come around the corner and laughed out loud as she saw her son, clumsily running with his arms extended out towards her, and dressed in not a stitch of clothing. His face was all smiles, as he eagerly shouted "mamamamamamama."

The delighted voice of the naked boy in front of her was soon followed by an out of breath,

"Naked boy on the loose, naked boy on the loose!" Soon followed Richard Castle, clad in a t-shirt and sweat pants with a towel draped over his shoulder. He grabbed Christopher before the boy could reach Kate and swept him up, planting kisses on him and tickling his sides.

Kate laughed at their antics, taking Christopher into her arms as Rick drew close. He gave her a kiss of his own while he explained to her the circumstances of her arrival.

"We were drying off after bath time and I heard the door close. I made the unforgivable mistake of telling him that mommy must be home and that was it. He was off. I think he fell 20 times between the bathroom and here, but would not be deterred." Kate smiled at Rick and leaned into Christopher, placing more kisses on the boy's cheeks.

"It's good to see you my love." Kate spoke warmly, "but it's cold. I can feel your little feet, cold as popsicles." She laughed at him as he simply grinned at her. "How about we get you dressed my little popsicle?" She took him back to his bedroom and placed him in his diaper and pajamas.

They walked back into the living room and Castle was holding their two month old daughter, rocking her lightly in his arms. He smiled at Kate and walked to her, while placing another gentle kiss on his wife's lips and smiling softly. There they stood, each with an infant in their arms while they shared light kisses and allowed their noses to lightly brush against eachother.

"Welcome home my heart," he warmly spoke to her. She laughed, but didn't break contact, "it certainly feels welcome now." She answered with a grin. As they leaned back from eachother, Audrey started to cry. Knowing that it was nearly dinner time for the girl, both Castle and Beckett looked at eachother and down to the respective children in their arms before simultaneously declaring "switch!"

* * *

Christopher was the first to go down that evening, able to adhere to a sleeping routine much more readily than his younger sister. She lightly bounced her daughter in her arms as she watched her husband gently rock their boy to sleep. She never tired of watching Richard Castle, especially when he was being a father.

Audrey remained in her mother's embrace a bit longer, following her feeding and burping, they gave her a bath, and fresh clothing. Then Kate sat with her in the rocking chair that Alexis had furnished in the baby's room.

She hummed a soft tune to her daughter as she rubbed soothing circles in her back and lulled her into a calm state. Soon Audrey was asleep, sucking lightly on a pacifier as her mother placed her gently in her crib. "Goodnight, my little angel." She spoke softly as she placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

She turned around to leave the room and found Castle leaning against the door frame. She smiled at him softly,

"How long have you been there Rick?" She asked.

"Long enough," he answered her, cupping her cheeks with his hands and kissing her forehead. She leaned her head into his chest and allowed his hands to travel down to her neck, where he began to massage the tension from her neck and shoulders. With her contented moans, he slid his hand down her arm and took her hand in his own. "Let's go to bed Kate," he whispered as he pulled her by the hand and walked them to bed.

* * *

The adults carried out their own nightly routine, enjoying a bubble bath together before sliding into their night cloths and climbing into bed. Kate lay herself down and started to make herself comfortable, pausing only when she noticed that her husband was not beside her doing the same.

She looked up to question him, but was silenced by his face. The calm and easy expression on his face just moments ago was now replaced with a burning intensity as he looked at her. As she took him in, desire pooled within her, as she immediately felt the need to have his hands on her.

He moved towards her slowly, not taking his eyes off of her as she moved to lie on her back and wait for him. When he reached the bed he kneeled on it and simply sat at her side, gazing intensely at her. Slowly, he moved his hands and brushed his fingers across her face.

He caressed her cheeks and moved down to her jaw, lightly brushing her skin with his fingers. She watched him silently as he studied her body. As he continued to move, he brushed lightly down her neck and over her collarbone. Her back arched on its own accord when the tips of his fingers caressed over her breasts and grazed her nipples.

Her movements and the moan that escaped her did not deter him as he continued to move his hands, slowly lowering them across her abdomen. Her lower stomach quaked beneath his touch and she bit her lips in anticipation of where she wanted him the most.

He did not disappoint her, tilting his hand to the side and brushing directly into her center. He finally made a sound when he could feel the moisture from her arousal through her panties. His response prompted her to act as she shifted her body and grabbed his arms, pulling him on top of her and hooking her legs around his hips.

He finally kissed her, as she raised her hips in effort to make contact with his groin and communicate exactly what it was she wanted from him. His grunt told her that he got her message, as he removed his boxer shorts and her panties in a matter of seconds.

She lifted slightly to pull her nightie off and was still upright when he sank into her. The surprise of the sudden penetration stole her breath, as she was met with the intensity of having him fully buried within her. While still semi-upright, she wrapped her arms around his torso and held to him, wrapping her legs high around his waist.

He used his upper body to scoot the both of them up the bed as he tilted her back and pushed himself even further inside of her. She whimpered with the overwhelming tightness he was causing to build within her as he seemed intent on trying to sink deeper inside of her than ever before.

Desperate to feel himself yet even deeper, he placed his hands on her hips and pushed her down while himself forward yet again; seemingly trying to crawl inside of her and lose himself. The movement created a new sensation within her as she felt something give, allowing him to sink deeper into her than ever before.

The tension building within her became overwhelming, causing her to cry out as her body clenched around him before releasing. Spasms shook throughout her body, radiating from her lower abdomen, but triggering tremors throughout her entire body.

The scream he ripped from her was masked by his mouth, as he moved to kiss her just as she fell apart. As he swallowed her cries he too fell apart, his own release intense enough to draw a loud grunt. They were both completely bathed in sweat as they collapsed; completely overcome by the intensity of their release.

They didn't bother to dress, opting instead for the feel of skin on skin as the snuggled into each other. Once settled they both let out contented sighs, Castle caressing Kate's back as they lay curled and facing one another.

They lay together in silence for awhile, simply enjoying each other and the warmth of their embrace.

* * *

When they finally spoke, he simply whispered, "I love you," again and again, earning him a contented moan and light, loving kisses. "I love you too Rick." She smiled as she returned his kisses.

Later, he shifted their focus to the day they'd had and he whispered to her, "How did it go today?"

"It went well," she replied and elaborated, "Gates understood. She's even going to write me a letter of recommendation."

"That's great!" He kissed her forehead.

"It's not going to be easy." She stated, a hint of anxiety in her voice.

"Things that are truly worth doing never are." He replied.

She nodded and pulled herself closer to her husband, sliding one of her legs between his and placing the other over his hip. She then pulled her torso against his and pulled him into an embrace. She couldn't get any closer to him if she tried.

He smiled and willingly accepted her attempts to get closer, whispering "I love you" into her ear.

"Thanks for having my back, for standing by me no matter what obstacles lay in front of us. No matter what path I seem to choose, you're right there with me and I love you for that; so thank you Rick." Kate lovingly spoke to him.

He squeezed her to him, placing kisses to every inch of her body he could reach. He moved then to tilt her chin so they were making eye contact in the dimly lit room. He leaned in again then, placing a kiss over one of her eyelashes and whispering "always."

He moved to her other eye and kissed her there, whispering "always."

Finally, he moved to kiss her lips tenderly, resting his nose against hers to give her Eskimo kisses as once again he whispered,

"Always Kate. Always."

**The End.**

* * *

**What did you think? Pretty please let me know :) **


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